From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
"Eat" she said, indicating hunger. "Go?" he asked, wondering if they should eat in or go out. "Eat, girl, go" and all was clear.

Thainglish is a language widely used by some tribes in Thailand. It is far from English or German, so if you are a native English or German speaker, or if you speak any other language except Thainglish (even sometimes), forget it. Since "unfortunate you" grew up submerged in a watered-down language which uses words to replace subtle expressions, you must learn Thainglish from scratch.


For eating, meal, dinner, drink, lunch, liquid, hungry, etc. there is only one word: EAT.

For going, moving, travelling, leaving, arriving, creeping, transporting, et al., there is only the word: GO.

For ladies, girls, females, crones, women, prostitutes, bitches, babes, and so on, there is only a word: GIRL.

Believe it or you don't, you don't need many more words than these.

Philophobical aspects

These three fundamental terms can create the full Thanglish language because of their basic nature.

In principle and truth, there are no more activities by biological means except eating, reproducing, and going. So people usually switch between them, or combine them in some fashion. If you pretend to be alive, you need at least three things: food, sex, and locomotion. Food (and its close cousin, liquid) for sure, so you can exist and be here. Sex for copying yourself and for entertainment. And moving for getting there. All other abilities, like seeing, hearing, thinking and the rest, only serve the three main principles, discussed above.

Thainglish EAT GO GIRL
Computer V Ctrl C
Biology Grow Move Reproduce
Age 0...10 11...17 18...100
Period Childhood Adolescent Adult
Time Morning Afternoon Night
Genre Fun Action Porn
Drink Water Beer Whisky

Two Very Advanced Words

If you can master these Thanglish words, and work them into your conversations correctly, the world is your oyster and you are master of the hounds.

For the same, similar, alike, close, mirror, related there is only same same.

For another one, different, strange, unlike, enemy, points finger there is only same girl same.

Now you can communicate in Thanglish

Knowing the principles of the language, you can now communicate anything in it. If you want to say "Hello, I hope you've had a nice day sir, and where can I grab a taxicab?" it translates as "Girl! Girl go, eat?". When it is about to rain and you wish shelter it is easy to say "Go! Go go go go go!!!" and shelter will be pointed out to you. If a tiger is about to pounce on your best friend, who is oblivious to the fact, you would say "Go go go go go!!! Same girl same go go go go!!! Same girl same!!". Thanglish speakers are like silent film stars who could convey any emotion with their eyes and hands - only with Thanglish they also have many words to augment those original means of communication. There is no need for sign language in Thanglish speaking communities, as everyone can read lips.

There are several excellent English/German to Thainglish dictionaries available, both in print and online. The best selling one is named "Go", and choice of most universities is "Eat".

A picture is worth a thousand words

The picture:


The thousand words:

"Eat eat eat girl, girl eat eat eat! Go girl, go!!!" and so on.

See also

Potatohead aqua.png Featured Article  (read another featured article) Featured version: 7 April 2013
This article has been featured on the main page. — You can vote for or nominate your favourite articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH.
Template:FA/07 April 2013