From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Oh is this piece of stupid garbage a representative example of so called "American humor"?[edit]

If so I will write in the Russian article about the USA that Americans have hamburgers instead of their brains. Well I know it is not funny too at all, just like this article, but at least much closer to the truth.


This article does not represent it as the most awesome country in the world as it really is.

blah blah blah[edit]

why finland is on the map??? we hate russkies

Despite all those contributions the article is still stupid. It doesn`t take a communist to rule this article over, by the way 09:46, 8 October 2007 (UTC)

We have a new Coat of Arms[edit]


I wont to see the new!

Ho-ho-ho! Look`s like a drunken crazy whore`s fairytale. By the way, the translation of the slogan "Russia welcomes you" into Russian is incorrect. You`ve made it like "You welcome Russia". As for English problems some Russians do have - say hello to Chinese & Japanese guys! Go get fuck yourselves, fuckers!

  • First of all, remember to sign a comment. Second, yes, the Russian phrase means "you welcome Russia", and that's the point. The article explicitly tells you to see Russian reversal. And yes, I'm a Russian. - Guest 12:46, 7 Oct 2005 (UTC)

-- Durrrrrrrrr. That why it it's called RUSSIAN REVERSAL. it's where you REVERSE things!

--- No Hujasha. It's where things reverse YOU.

vodka warrior[edit]

not funny at all. nothing to laugh at. staff on Latvia is way more explosive, I thought I'll die on the spot...

it is the silliest thing I have ever seen!!! now I Know that not only Bush is your problem. the problem is in the degradation of your mind. once there wouldn't be your country on the map- it would be something like Arabic. Excuse me for my bad English.

--- It's terrible lie!


Canada is not communist! Nor even remotely near 80s Sweden-socialist. I like a beer and I like a rifle. Thus, I say with 100% authoritah that the map is totally misrepresenting!! & uh, also, I'm of Russian descent--Shandon 02:03, 1 August 2006 (UTC)


i am russion, thats page is very fun!;) But i think, page about russion woomans, not fun

That's an awful article, tat is not funny at all! This stupid jokes about vodka and communism are made by an idiot! Certainly! I'm Russian and I don't understand, how people could laugh because of this awful jokes!The preceding unsigned comment was added by (talk • contribs)

Yeah, someone could come up with WAY better stuff. I don't think the person that wrote this was even trying.
-G or better know as The preceding unsigned comment was added by (talk • contribs)
Try using the ~~~~ use the "sign" button (Button sig.png) above the edit box. And as anyone can tell, this article was written by multiple users which in the long run will lose it's worth. If you're up to making it better, create an account, use your name space to rewrite it and sumbit it to the Pee Review. Other wise use the talk page to add advice instead of criticism. There are no real bragging rights about how well you can write something if you or you haven't done so in the first place. So go create an account & impress us with the humour we oh so lack. Spacer.gifSpacer.gifPremierTomMayfairChe.png RedPhone.png Unsoc.png Hammer and sickle.png 22:08, 5 January 2007 (UTC)
Guys, I am Russian, and i can assure you the jokes are pretty ok :) Just dont listen to the assholes who havent read any other uncyclodopedia_country_articles in English, 'cause they dont actually know much English. Between all nations there are people without sense of humor, and well ... between Russians as well :) Keep up guys, you re on the right way :) Sorry for an IP, not a login ;) ilya

lol 2[edit]

Im Prussian :) .

Article very fun... But im hope, on real you dont think so about our country ;) . Sorry for english and ПРЕВЕД РУССКИМ МЕДВЕДАМ :) !

P.S.: Article in russian uncyclopedia about USA better ;) . 20:49, 6 January 2007 (UTC)

You mean this one: [Russian article about the USA] ? I'd rather disagree, it's just a badbutt mean article, nothing but genuine hatred and old cliches. Nothing funny to me. BoOo 03:11, 15 August 2007 (UTC)

I am russian and i think this article is not so witty, but just about making fun of russians without any taste. made by not very witty people with predjudices.

spell predjudices right next time and get some more vitamin D in your skin.

Commie jokes[edit]

Seriously, it's happening the third time already, but some morons try subsequently to reverse (sorry for calambours) the page to something stupid, as it is now. Adding communist jokes, stupid pics (like some stupid dog) and other non-mentionned crap. Just FYI, Russia has never been communist. Never. No country has been communist in this world to the point. There was USSR that was SOCIALIST-communist, so if you like to post commie jokes - refer to USSR please. And do whatever you like there.

Russian accent, vodka jokes and jokes about radiation and Russian women are okay, though. "Я" letter is not - it reads "ya" in Russian, so that's not really a joke.

And most of all, there is a guide at the bottom of the edit page, so please don't be stupid and let me write ONE NORMAL PAGE FOR PUTIN'S SAKE!

- Shadiac
Sign your post with this ~~~~. Spacer.gifSpacer.gifPremierTomMayfairChe.png RedPhone.png Unsoc.png Hammer and sickle.png 18:10, 23 January 2007 (UTC)
Shadiac, the purpose of the subjects you mention above is to mock peoples' common (mis)perceptions of Russia. As you should have noticed by now, facts are unwelcome at Uncyclopedia. Therefore, whether Russsia has or has not ever been "truly" communist is irrelevant; the common perception of it is that it was. Likewise, the letter Я has been used in place of R for comedy effect in many parodies of Russia for a long time. It's all about the comedic value, which you are depleting by blanking huge chunks of this article. If you want to extol Russia's virtues and dispel myths about her history, alphabet and culture, there are plenty of places on the interne to do so. Uncyclopedia is not one of them. -- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue) 19:20, 23 January 2007 (UTC)
Yeah. Who fucking cares about the facts - look what you did to the article in general! And you can write as much tautology as you want - it doesn't hide your assrapism away, Tom.
+1. Shadiak, watch some of the Monty Python's Flying Circusssss, probably this will help :) I ve shown this page to some of my Russian and non Russian friends (i am Russian), they were all having fun. And dont feel sorry for our country's image - the ones that have been here will never take all this seriously, and most of the others are pretty sure about the bears, vodka and so on anyway and you cant do much about that. And the worst way to "do much" - is to post the staff you are posting, as you seem a live approval of the article "average russian" image :))

ilya 21.40, 23 January 2007 (UTC)

What else can I say to an imbicile who calls stupid "funny" and funny "stupid". Might as well start laughing at "fart jokes" now.

Would you please sign your damn post. And do it correctly. Spacer.gifSpacer.gifPremierTomMayfairChe.png RedPhone.png Unsoc.png Hammer and sickle.png 00:23, 19 February 2007 (UTC)

There is a huge difference between fiction and comedy. They say truth is stranger than fiction, well if often is funnier too - if you say it the right way. To be truly funny about something, it has to be something you know something about. If it's just made-up nonsense, you're jacking off on the screen and nobody wants to read that.

Monty Python may have been funny, but it never harped on a single subject either, and it always tied stuff together and stuck to the subject. Also, anyone with common sense would agree that Month Python was stupid too, which is dangerous territory if you're not a good comedian. A comedian in territory they know nothing about, doing nothing but slapstick, is a bad comedian. The dog was stupid. Endless communist references show a lack of creativity - give some credit to the sophistication of the average reader to know more about Russia than Communism, vodka and Yakov Smirnoff.

Seriously, there are millions of people who know LOTS of things about Russia. You can list facts about real military equipment in a completely hilarious way. The KGB, GRU and SVR are a rich motherlode of good humor. Why change Putin's name to "pudding," which is 5-year-old slapstick, when you can draw on jokes well-known among those of us who DO know a lot about Russia, and are funny to everyone. Like, that Putin was chosen to succeed because he was bald, as ever since Lenin, the leaders have alternated between bald and non-bald. Make a fake biography about his KGB years. How he was chagrined during he Gorbachev years when he started to go bald, but saw opportunity instead during the long reign of bushy-headed Yeltsin. Not to mention how he inadvertently became a sex symbol to Russian gays. Search "putin photo" in google images, and you'll see the fishing picture; he is now admired by Russian fairies. Women too but that's not as funny. Kozz 06:46, 29 April 2009 (UTC)


Not funny at all...

What you practically did now is stupid. You left the most part of the stuff I added to the acticle (things like the flag, the coat of arms and the girl's pic at the bottom) while adding completely controversal shit just next to it. So now this article is a fucking bloody mess. Seriously, ppl, if you want to ban me - go ahead, do so. I don't care (got dynamic ip anyway suckers =)), but at least care take MY stuff off the article then, 'cause I did contribs to it and I have the right to erase everything that is mine in it. And, for Stalin's sake, send it to a review already - it's getting boring now. P.S. I thought Uncyclopedia was a "free encyclopedia that ANYONE can edit". But, seeing how mr. mayfair and mr. codeine are being assrape totalitarian here, i just better go to Wikipedia and contib there. At least, I wouldn't be banned for telling the truth, eh, Tom? =) You're a faggot.



Well he was half right. ^_^ Spacer.gifSpacer.gifPremierTomMayfairChe.png RedPhone.png Unsoc.png Hammer and sickle.png 08:45, 25 March 2007 (UTC)

What the hell is this garbage?[edit]

If you intended to alienate an audience, you damn well did.

Funny eh? How about this? What do you get when two faggots blow each other in public? An open door fart that pollutes the world.

This article is in need of a serious rewrite. WheN I say rewrite, I mean that you rewrite the article & make if funny. Spacer.gifSpacer.gifPremierTomMayfairChe.png RedPhone.png Unsoc.png Hammer and sickle.png 08:44, 25 March 2007 (UTC)

-- 19:11, October 28, 2009 (UTC)american fuckers!!! you suck!!! your jokes suck!!! and you suck!!!

Article Locked ?[edit]

Hey, I'd like to throw my $0.02 worth about Russian economy and rewrite the part about Russian women. Who's liable to open it up? BoOo 03:14, 15 August 2007 (UTC)

Say NO to IPs & n00bs. Spacer.gifSpacer.gifPremierTomMayfairChe.png RedPhone.png Unsoc.png Hammer and sickle.png03:33, 15 August 2007
Elitism here, of all places in the big Universe?? LOL. Surprise, surprise. Never mind, there is always a place to drop $0.02 worth in the big Universe ;)

Russiandude: Why is the article locked? I'd like to edit the Russian women section. It's just sick, disgusting, and wrong, and whoever wrote it is a sick b@stard.

Russian reversal[edit]

If UnSource:List of Russian reversals is no longer on the main Uncyclopedia, perhaps any links to it should be updated? Just a thought... --01:37, 16 August 2007 (UTC)

Or, how about, perhaps, NOT... the whole "russian reversal thing" was funny only once, when Smirnoff himself said it the first few times. Since then it has gotten a little more stupid every time it has been repeated - and has polluted every article even remotely related to anything russian with line after line of the same dumbshit, unfunny 'joke.' But any broken links are more than made up for by the people who keep adding them in new edits, who don't seem to get that when something's truly funny, it only needs to be on one page.

Just stupid[edit]

The article is just stupid. It´s´absolutely not funny... really really tasteless stuff you wrote there... Full of hartred, jealousy, and, well, sorry guys, who wrote this, you are nuts. Random insulting nonsense.

Greydays 11:34, 6 September 2007 (UTC)

Yeah. I checked other pages like the "Canadian" one (which I am) and I stumbled across the Russian one... which seems more racists than funny. Leave all the articles if you want, but could someone actually put something "funny" in it?


Try rewrittin' it yourself. Otherwise, opinions are rather bias as one cannot criticize somethin' that they could not accomplish 'emselves. Spacer.gifSpacer.gifPremierTomMayfairChe.png RedPhone.png Unsoc.png Hammer and sickle.png
The funniest thing is how the article depicts the Russians as Eurasian, not white, sometimes even resorting to posting pictures of Chinese people. -- 06:19, 16 June 2008 (UTC)

The article is absolutely talentless and does not correspond even to the lowest standards of good humor. The joke about Russian women is just stupid and disgusting. Shame on anybody who supports such kind of humor.

New map[edit]

I've uploaded a new map to the Russia article.

World map russia.png

--Riiga 20:55, 20 October 2007 (UTC)


It would be very cool if someone did an audio of this article with a real (or realistic) Russian accent. Just a thought.--Unknown_user | Talk | Contribs | LULZ | AAN | MUN

  • I couldn't upload the audio to Uncyc, but here's it on YouTube:


- Sir Sikon [formerly known as Guest] 13:33, 8 December 2007 (UTC)

Comrade Shadiac[edit]

Wtf???? Comrade Shadiac? Who added this on the page? Mayfair, is that you? Shadiac 05:28, 26 March 2008 (UTC)


Freaking hilarious article, best on this great encyclopedia, much is so true

being retards[edit]

all of u bitches are retards that have no lives at all, and think that u may compensate for your shortcomings by dissing countries that u haven't even visited, personally i think that falls under the category of being retarded....

And you are? Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 15:31, 16 March 2009 (UTC)


Whoa! So many Ivan @_@ Now I understand why they named Russia "Ivan" in APH. Nice...

not funny at all[edit]

From the quotes section:

“Russia is a country where a black person would never be elected president. They wouldn't live through the winter.”

- Barack Obama on Russian habits

“America is a country where they put apes as presidents. Also, jews are all evil, Asians yellow and Germans nazis. Only us Russians have never been nationwise judgemental in our lives.”

- Vladimir Putin on the above quote

Oh, the projection! That's about Putin, who publicly celebrated Chanukkah with the chief Rabbi of Russia, is fluent in German and besides that is friends with the former German chancellor, Schroeder. I wouldn't mind if the quote at least was funny. Whoever wrote it, though, was clearly trying to make a political point. Too bad they got at least two out of four things WRONG (don't know about Putin's opinion on Obama or Asians).

Good heavens young man. You strive to rebut....satire? Sissified Gentry 15:56, February 16, 2010 (UTC)

About Russian language[edit]

A part of text called "~russian" have been written totally wrong, like with Google Translator, but article is blocked and I can't write it properly.

Представляешь себе умнее гугла? А статья заключенная потому что код СЕКРЕТНЫЙ.Kozz 12:58, November 17, 2009 (UTC)

Kozz,if you use Google translator, you'd better be silent. you're so LOL. Hey from Siberia)

in soviet russia[edit]

in soviet russia soja boy cranks YOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUU

ministry of sexual activity[edit]

minister of sexual activity of Russian federation Mr Putin Putov ordered the exchange of four secret agents with USA(Untitled Secret Agency)in 26 of July 2010 because Russian agents caused sexual injuries to their opponents so they returned nude to their motherland.

stupid comment[edit]

stop drinking vodka is elegal.

today news[edit]

russian bear is hairless!

national heroes[edit]

Castello ? who is it ? May be its fun for you but not about russia. National hero is Stalin better imho. --Sirmolenko (talk) 17:09, June 1, 2012 (UTC)

Not fun for me (American) either. Certainly humor based on something is better than humor based on nothing, and a lot of this article is based on nothing. Please contribute what you can. Spıke Ѧ 17:25 1-Jun-12

i thing freedom better than occupation by moderators when only moderators do articles and sport in russia is litterball (pintaball)литрбол drinking alcohol who more is a winner. --Sirmolenko (talk) 17:38, June 1, 2012 (UTC)

I win, because I have drunk too much alcohol to understand most of your message. литрбол, is that the sport where you try to send a folded paper through fingers that are "goal posts"? If so, we play it too, but only in government. Spıke Ѧ 17:42 1-Jun-12

oh yeah litreball ,yes your right its untranslatable . --Sirmolenko (talk) 18:00, June 1, 2012 (UTC)

{{User:Anton199/Template:Article}} Anton (talk) 18:07, May 29, 2013 (UTC)

suggested motto[edit]

"In Soviet Russia, God pray to YOU!! 23:15, June 6, 2013 (UTC)