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Smegmology
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Smegmology is a branch of biology and bullshittery dealing with the scientific study of the nature and applications of smeg.
Smegmologists can study many different properties of smeg, such as composition, medicinal uses, conversion to different types of regular cheeses, and links to smegnology.
Notable findings[edit]
Penis-illin[edit]
Scientists have found that it is possible to create a ripoff version of penicillin using smeg, which has been given the official name penis-illin.
A common misconception of how it came about was that a wizard did it, however the true origins of penis-illin was when known smegmologist Will Ferrell stole smeg from a dog's phallus to have on his sandwich. He realised, after letting the dog smeg sit and ferment for a while, that the main ingredient of smeg was the bacteria penicillium candidum. Will attempted to make penicillin with this, but with him being an idiot, mistook this for the similarly-named bacteria penicillium chrysogenum, the actual ingredient of penicillin.
What resulted after his moment of madness was a lot of squishy, sticky yellow pills that had the exact same effects of penicillin once consumed, with one additional side effect: the user's smeg output from their genitalia of choice will be doubled permanently.
Conversion to camembert cheese[edit]
Due to the above mentioned bacteria penicillium candidum, the main ingredient in camembert cheese, smeg can thus be converted into it. There are some differences, though, for example it will contain next to no calories. Talk about knob cheese.