Silly String Theory

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Where does the mysterious hand in the lower left corner come from?? This is a mystery, and therefore so are silly strings.

Silly String Theory deals with one of the unsolved problems of physics: Finding out where all that silly string came from. Great minds of science frequently wake up with a hangover only to find themselves covered in what seems to be the by-product of an alienesque evolutionary state, before realising that some of the super strings broke and resulted in utter silliness.

Silly string often occurs at weddings and child birthday parties. Not so often at the tax office. This pattern suggests one of two finite-time possibilities: Either they're keeping the silly string clogged up in unused cubicles, or tax offices don't exist. The former introduces certain company politics issues, and the latter questions tax and therefore the meaning of society.

Chemical composition[edit]

Since silly strings are broken super strings, they don't consist of anything unless they paradoxically break into other things. It turns out both of these happen simultaneously, and that, if Schroedinger's cat would ever be let out of the box, we'd have an undead carnivore covered in colourful pasta.

Known facts[edit]

To properly cope with silly string, a corpus of scientific facts has been collected through time (and imaginary time, with our imaginary friends, thus producing complex facts that can't be viewed with the current version of your browser).

  • Silly String can easily be confused with ramen. (Ramen can easily be confused with Amen)
  • Silly string is, much like the weird particles in quantum physics, one of the few concepts to which the adjective is actually descriptive and not just derogatory. Silly string can resultingly never be made fun of, because people will simply think "yes, it is silly" and not hint the slightest sarcasm.
A worker laying a foundation for a silly string bridge.

Literary analysis[edit]

The commercial product of Silly String advertises with "Instant party!" However, for proper silliness, the sentence is best rendered as: "ytrap tnatsnI!"

Military applications[edit]

Silly string was originally intended as a way to stop infantry on the battlefield. Larger amounts of silly string would then be generated in larger positron accelerators, creating a disturbance in the force that causes the super strings to break apart and float into the physical realm. Also, it is used to detect trip wires when looking for booby traps.

See also[edit]