Please unblock me
“Are you sure you want to do this? I'm not. You'll get people asking you to please undelete their unencyclopedic articles, vandalising the heck out of your user page, and most importantly you'll have to review countless frivolous unblock requests. Yesterday I declined one from someone who seemed to think this was Uncyclopedia or something. I'm telling you, it drives me crazy...”
I'm sorry. Please unblock me. What I did wasn't even wrong but I promise I won't do it again.
This is why I did it[edit]
I only reverted to my version because I was right. The moon really is made of green cheese. My mum said so and if she's not a reliable source I don't know what is! Besides, that doesn't need a citation needed or anything, it's obviously true. Everyone knows the moon is made of green cheese. I mean, just look at it. It's green and it has holes in it, so it must be cheese, right? You don't need a source to say the sky is blue, so why do you need a source for the moon is green cheese? That wasn't vandalism. You should be assuming good faith instead of just calling stuff vandalism.
Why you should unblock me[edit]
You just blocked me because you don't like the truth. That edit war rule is stupid. But I won't do it again. I really want to contribute to this wikipedia. I'll be constructive. I'll be this. I'll be that. I even read the guide to appealing blocks. That counts for something, doesn't it? It says you're supposed to read it. I'm doing exactly what you want, so you'd better unblock me or else you're violating the policy. Or something. Anyway I really want to be unblocked so won't you please? Pretty please with a cherry on top? If you don't I'll cry. I'm serious.
Declined?[edit]
Now that's just mean and unfair. I hardly did anything and I promised I wouldn't do it again and I read that appeal guide thing like I said. Sure I put in different information but it was wrong before and I had to correct it. And I won't do it again. I won't put true stuff in wiki any more, just false stuff because that's what you accept here. I learnt my lesson. Can't you see I just want to help?
This is admin abuse. You've stopped a potentially good editor from editing Wikiwiki because you think it's fun. You ought to know it's not fun for me. Not at all. Please unblock me. I won't abuse edit privileges or anything. Don't do that again. Use unblocked, not unblock reviewed.
Yes, declined[edit]
Not this again...
I mean, I declined your unblock request because, even though you have addressed the reason for your block, you don't even come close to understanding it. You do not understand what reliable sources and true information are, you have completely misinterpreted our policies, and you have not given a single reason why you should be unblocked. You promise to insert false information if you are unblocked, which is exactly what you are blocked for. Do you really expect me to believe you will 'contribute' anything in the way of verifiable, encyclopedic content? Really? If you do, if you keep making these frivolous requests, I will take your cheese and your talk page access away.