Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/November 1

November 1: International Destroy Tokyo Day

• 1053 - Birthday of Nessie, the Loch Ness Monster. Every year Nessie celebrates by not having her picture taken, then destroying Tokyo.
• 1512 - Michelangelo completes the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel; his wife complains that if he carries on at the same rate the wallpaper won't be up for Christmas, when she's invited her sister around. They have a row and she storms out, Valezquez and Raphael come around, crack open a few beers and then destroy Tokyo.
• 1950 - A series of horrific experiments to re-animate dead tissue result in the creation of Joseph Ratzinger. Tokyo is found destroyed a few days later.
• 1952 - As part of the weapons program Operation Ivy, the U.S. successfully detonates a 10 megaton hydrogen bomb in Eniwetok atoll, located in the Marshall Islands. Most historians regard this as Godzilla's birthday. Godzilla celebrates it every year by attempting to destroy Tokyo, or, if Tokyo is under attack from another monster, by saving Tokyo.
• 1952 - The next day, a loophole is discovered in that once Godzilla saves Tokyo, it is once again not under attack from another monster. Therefore, by the transitive property, if another monster attacks Tokyo, Godzilla destroys Tokyo.
• 1953 - Mothra hatches from an egg, then destroys Tokyo.
• 1957 - Mothra finishes metamorphosis and changes from a destructive silkworm to a beautiful butterfly. Then it destroys Tokyo.
• 1959 - An evil cult performs a dark ritual that results in the birth of one of the most terrifying monsters of all time: Dick Cheney. Cheney promptly goes out and destroys Tokyo.
• 2005 - Fisher Price is created. An innocent child uses one of his toys to destroy Tokyo. Child is no longer innocent.
• 2023 - In a major upset, the Dolphins win the Superbowl. The team and its seventeen fans celebrate by destroying Tokyo.
• 2157 - Using their newly invented time machine, scientists of Tokyo look into the future to predict when Tokyo will next be destroyed. The day before it is, they take initiative and destroy themselves to piss off the would-be destroyers. With Tokyo destroyed by Tokyo, the world is happy. There is much rejoicing.