Mimas
“That's no moon, it's a battle station!”
“No, it's a moon”
“Who cares?”
Mimas was originally the third version of the Galactic Empire's Death Star. After the death of Darth Vader, the Empire abandoned it for the reason that the Empire can't have death star without Darth Vader. Later when the United States of America discovered that it was in fact a battle station instead of a moon they "borrowed" Mimas and continued the construction (although the US denies these claims).
Etymology[edit]
It is a common myth that Mimas was named after a Greek God but it's actually an acronym for:
- Major
- Intelligence failure and a
- Moon that is an
- A-hole that just happens to have a
- Super laser
Geography/design[edit]
Mimas' most famous (and most important) geographical/design feature is its large crater/super laser. Also due to its delayed construction it has a rocky like substance on its surface giving it the appearance of an average moon.
Battle station or a moon?[edit]
After the IAU got rid of Pluto in 2006 the IAU is now debating on the definition of a really big battle station. Under the current definition of a battle station. Until then Mimas remains a moon. However, if it does not become a battle station the U.S. threatens to blow up the moon if Mimas does not gain status as a battle station.
U.S. Occupation[edit]
The U.S. claims that its activities on Mimas is to help spread democracy to Saturn and its moons. However Locals claim that U.S. is really occupying the moon to use the super laser. The U.S. general in charge of Mimas has said:
“We're just investigating if Mimas' super laser would be a threat to the peace and democracy of Saturn and its moons.”
However the U.S. does not need to build it to investigate if it's a threat and also it would be a threat to not only to Saturn and it's moons but to the entire galaxy.
Ownership[edit]
The U.S. currently owns 98% of Mimas's stock. The other 2% is owned by Saturn for orbit and gravity usage.
To be rented by the IAU?[edit]
“The IAU has agreed to consider destroying Pluto”
There are rumors of when Mimas finishes construction that Mimas will be rented by the IAU so it can destroy Pluto and it the debate on whether Pluto is a planet or a... something else. The IAU refuses to comment on this, but astronomers agree that it would be a great idea to just destroy Pluto and just forget the entire debate. However, many non-astronomers agree that an astronomer's job is to not blow planets up... that's an astrophysicist's job.
Inhabitants[edit]
Is home to 5,000,000 people, including: