Mantuition

This man has advanced mantuition which has caused him to spread his legs wide. Also known as mansplaining.

Mantuition is similar to intuition differing only in its manliness. Unlike women's intuition, mantuition is a single word. Grammatically, it's much less possessive. Logically, it isn't. But at least it's right all the time! Mantuition is distinct from mammunition or nipple obsession. However, a man's mantuition will often give the man the feeling that the manswer to the man's question is more mammunition ... and beer ... and power ... and man supremacy.

Men who have advanced mantuition can't help themselves and will spread their legs wide enough to encroach on others sitting next to them. It was once believed this stance is a relic from the days of cowboys when sitting astride a horse all day would give you bow legs. It was why originally women had to wear side saddle as it was believed that the male pose would result in their infertility.

Uses of Mantuition

Ancient mantuition.

Mantuition can be used in a variety of ways to gain a very definite insight into events that would otherwise be confusing, potentially embarrassing or otherwise irksome, thus allowing the man using it to focus on the important business of getting things done, without having to worry about inconvienient factors like facts or consequences.

Examples of mantuition include:

• "Of COURSE there's room for another beer, it's not like i'm driving very far"
• "Instructions are for quitters. It obviously goes like this!"
• "She wants it."
• "Anyone can see she's over 18"
• "The government just says that to try and keep us down!"
• "RAAAGHHHGRR!!!"

Possible Side-Effects of Mantuition

Mantuition has existed since David Niven lived in a home like this. No sign of a feminine touch!

Although mantuition is reliable, hard headed and of course very manly, if used irresponsibly possible side effects may include but are not limited to:

• Vomiting
• Headaches
• The rest of the hangover
• Incarceration
• Condemnation
• Impregnation
• Auto-Fellation
• Liver disease
• Heart disease
• Decapitation Disease
• Retardation
• Psycosis

And of course

• Death

Unfortunately, irresponsibly is the only possible way to use mantuition. Anyone who does it differently is just a big, flouncy, hippy-lovin' pansy.

See Also

• HowTo:Be A Man

External links

• Mantuition.com! - Topical mix of examples of male brain-bypass