Leif
Leif is a midget hobbit known to wander around in Asia seeking truth. Despite his charm and mysterious face he does not embrace the vagina. There is some evidence indicating that Leif has actually found truth but keeps it a secret.
In the diary of Schröder there were some letter conversations between Leif and Albert Einstein. Leif explained that not only is the maximum truth a function of speed it's also a function of quantity. Schröder concluded in his diary that Leif inspired Albert Einstein to jerk off less and focus more.
Leif inspired Schröder by putting his cat in a box and performing an experiment which led to the cat being blown up. Leif explained the idea of tough love to Shröder but as that didn't help the crying Shröder, Leif instead made up a theory of simultaneous states of being alive and dead.
Leif suffered a year full of misery and drinking. During this blue-year he wrote, produced and recorded all by himself the magic-rap song. It immedieately became a top-hit and made him both rich and famous. In interviews Leif claimed to be misunderstood and misinterpreted. He "really hates this song, it stands for everything that delutes the search for ones truth!".
Since being a guest at Oprah Winfrey, he became notorious for his "weeks of constant midget-hob-masturbations". When asked about it later he would reply "I am not proud of it, but it serves me well.".
Leif on sex[edit]
- It's better to have it ten times in the woods rather than having it once in your hands
- If you can't go in it, go through it
- If you can't endure it, you are a pussy
- It's really all about having fun, if you don't have fun you won't become great
- No one knows when they are ready, it's better to go out and get dirty
- When you think about it, it's really just a number, just like any number.
- It can happen to YOU!