Leggo!
“In Soviet Russia, Leggo! builds YOU!!”
“Leggo! bricks have actually saved my life on numerous occasions. Take some with you if you ever go quasar-spotting”
Leggo! is a Dutch toy company who main base of operations is a Europe-based (location classified) armoured fortress, capable of withstanding up to two supernovas without much harm. However, it is secretly also a major terrorist organisation whose members are unknown save for one: the creator of Bionicle, Freg Garshtey.
History[edit]
Leggo! Was founded shortly after the creation of the universe by a cosmic entity known as Minifig. God charged him with the task of creating veritable building blocks with which to expand the universe; Minifig did so but found the task too strenuous. He created a series of angelic servants who would aid him in this task, and thus Leggo! was born. However, in the millennia that followed, a combination of Emo Hitler, Cyborg Jesus and Doctor Who caused the angelic servants to become corrupt, establishing their first fortress underneath the Leaning tower of Pizza. But it was certainly not the last. It is unknown why exactly the company is called Leggo!, for most of the biblical texts concerning it have since been consumed by Oprah. A blind eyewitness claims to have heard Minifig say "I shall call my company - Leggo! Bloody Klingons!". Is is unknown what happened to Minifig after his involvement in the Time war.
Leggo! In the modern world[edit]
At present, all authorities who have attempted to apprehend Leggo! for its despicable crimes (which includes making children happy) have been thwarted by Leggo!'s ultimate superweapon: the fact that nobody knows Dutch. This prevents them from traveling any further than the airport, eventually giving up and booking a trip to Amsterdam's red light district. They never seem to mind, though. Leggo! Continues to distribute its colourful building blocks to the general public, which in and of itself is a statement that they are not to be trifled with.
Known fortresses[edit]
- Windsor
- Billund
- Denmark
- California
- Broadway
Little known facts[edit]
- Leggo! bricks come in a variety of fifteen-thousand colours
- Leggo! bricks are suitable equipment for repairing wormholes
- Postman Pat was once brutally killed by a Leggo! figure, however he was subsequently ressurected
- Leggo! bricks taste good with caterpillars
- Leggo! is an undiscovered 'hatch' in the television series Lost. It studies the effect of Hamsters on microwaves.