Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/July 23

July 23: Promptly Shoot Everyone Day

• 1914: Archduke Franz Ferdinand, his wife, and his moustache are shot and killed while travelling to market in an open buggy, triggering World War I. Authorities agree it was a bad idea to be carrying a Target bag in plain sight.
• 1942: Promptly Shoot Everyone Day receives a tremendous boost with the opening of the Treblinka Concentration Camp. Up to 6 million take part.
• 1963: Lee Harvey Oswald (pictured) is assassinated in the Texas Book Depository in Dallas. His alleged assassin is promptly shot, creating a firestorm of controversy and insane conspiracy theories printed on poorly xeroxed fliers.
• 1965: Malcolm X gives a speech in New York City, decrying the racist motivations behind Promptly Shoot Everyone Day. He is promptly shot and replaced by Malcolm XI.
• 1973: Bob Marley promptly shoots the sheriff, but he swears he didn't shoot the deputy, or at least he did not shoot the deputy in a prompt and timely manner.
• 1986: Britain's Prince Andrew marries Sarah Ferguson at Westminster Abbey in London. He then promptly shoots her in the face.
• 1982: Sasuke Uchiha is born and then is shot... promptly.
• 2005: Egypt attempts to expand the festival by introducing Promptly Blow Everyone Up Day, leaving 88 dead. It is branded "a wild success" by Libyan President Muammar Gaddafi who offers to provide celebration kits to anyone who asks.
• 2007: An aspiring pornography actor adopts the moniker "Promptly Shot", but isn't hired for some reason.