From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

"Well, I'm not here to judge. Oh wait, I am ! ~ Mr. Judge

A portrait of the first judge.

A judge is an individual that wields a high amount of power in a court. Judges started in 8th century England, when men wearing long wigs and 12 of their apprentices, were hired by the Monarch to play chess with the Maids, while partaking in "civilised matters" with the maids. Eventually, The Monarch of Spain had heard of this through one of his English subjects, and started hiring Judges to play chess within his court.

The court[edit]

In the 16th century, judges figured out that when it was raining, they needed somewhere to play chess without getting wet. One judge bought a cottage and played chess with his apprentices and maids in the cottage, so they didn't get wet in the rain. Many other judges noticed this idea, and began playing chess in cottages, naming them 'Courts' for short. Judges put on their wigs and robes in a small room in the cottage called the Judges' Chamber. The main room where everyone played chess was called a courtroom.

To announce who won the game, the judge would bang a hammer called a gavel on the chess table, and if the judge won the game he would shout 'GUILTY'. If the maids won, he would yell 'INNOCENT'. This was the Renaissance of Courtroom Chess.

The court system[edit]

In the 18th century, peasants caught sight of everyone wearing wigs and playing chess in courts, and decided they wanted some of the action. So they travelled all around England, getting signatures for a petition to present to the Head of Court, saying that they wanted to be part of the court. The Head of Court, after consultation with the monarch, approved and so peasants were able to play chess in the courtrooms. However, they did not play very well; many games ended in stalemate or in pieces being thrown around the court, inspiring the Head of Court to hire people known as 'barristers' (who also wore wigs, except that their wigs were ponytailed) to advise the peasants on what to do when playing chess. The apprentices were now known as a 'Jury'. Courts soon opened up all around the world.

See also[edit]