HowTo talk:Cut your own head off with a chainsaw

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This article was nominated for deletion on January 29, 2007.
The result of the discussion was Keep.


For the record, I laughed muchly at this, and wish it hadn't been NRVed, because there's really no way to make it any better. I vote for keeping it as a short joke article. --Strange.PNG (but) Untrue  Whhhy?Whut?How? *Back from the dead* 23:43, 28 January 2007 (UTC)

I agree, lets VFD it. I vote keep.--Witt, Union leader.gif of Union member.gif UNion Entertain me* 00:04, 29 January 2007 (UTC)
For the record, I showed this to my wife. She was... less than amused. Ah well. :) El Zoof 13:21, 29 January 2007 (UTC)
Hah, brilliant. I agree, let VFD decide. I'll add it now. -- Paw print.jpg 21:56, 29 January 2007 (UTC)
I agree -- this is funny. :) ICU is being used too hastily. I just had Geece tagged by the same person. -- 129.255.93.180 21:50, 29 January 2007 (UTC)
Honestly, ICU isn't a death sentence - just a reminder to keep writing because it isn't quite good enough yet. It's true that most tagged articles do get deleted, but that's mainly because they don't get improved. Geece is one of the rare survivors. :) -- Paw print.jpg 21:56, 29 January 2007 (UTC)

Stub/expand[edit]

I had another idea, what about this one?

{{Allstubs|''This article is a '''[[stub]]'''. The article submitter may be dead. You can help Uncyclopedia by |expanding it|''.}} —Braydie at 22:55, 29 January 2007 (UTC)

I made this one:

--General Insineratehymn 23:24, 29 January 2007 (UTC)

I dont know about anyone else, but I think I'd have prefered without the above --Perplextrator 09:37, 12 February 2007 (UTC)

Yeah, maybe you're right actually - it does seem a bit like stating the obvious. --Strange.PNG (but) Untrue  Whhhy?Whut?How? *Back from the dead* 10:59, 12 February 2007 (UTC)
Maybe he's Captain Obvious. --High General Grue 02:19, 13 February 2007 (UTC)

Reading this I thought of something along the lines of "This article's author's neck is a stub. You can't really help, but thanks for the thought.", but... well, the joke kind of ends with the picture.

Hmm, is anyone else of the opinion that there's too little blood? Maybe someone could edit the picture so it appears to cover one of the templates partially to enhance realism or something... Ethereal 15:27, 7 March 2007 (UTC)

Really, don't change this at all. This is hilarious.The Jamaidian 20:23, 29 March 2007 (UTC)

Needs improvement[edit]

Change to Ogg Vorbis, fix the sound break, and add agonized screaming. --Starnestommy 23:27, 8 March 2007 (UTC)

Don't change to Ogg Vorbis, because some of us are too lazy to deliberately go out looking for a codec to play it. --Strange.PNG (but) Untrue  Whhhy?Whut?How? *Back from the dead* 00:06, 9 March 2007 (UTC)
I agree, its much easier when files are in .mp3, or .wav or any other COMMON filetype. - X23
Please keep it in MP3. (And this is coming from someone who uses Linux and has the Ogg codecs – they say it's better, but the only difference is it just takes longer to stick it on your iPod since you have to convert it back to MP3 anyway.) 750px-High voltage warning.svg.png Martin Ultima, President of the Galaxy [ complaints dept. - deep thought - infinite improbability drive ] 16:15, 10 March 2007 (UTC)

A Great Idea[edit]

I think a great idea would be to have someone come in the original author's place. It's a great short joke, but the article has a lot more potential. Maybe I'll do it, but the testing tommorow and coding I must do is quite strenuous on my schedule.

okay i'll try i-

Blood Spatter.jpg

Fou-Lu 02:16, 10 March 2007 (UTC)

How the F*CK did this crap get featured???!!! --Marto 85 06:25, 10 March 2007 (UTC)

Well I think it was because it was a funny article. By the way did you vote for or against it? User:KWild/sig 08:59, 10 March 2007 (UTC)

WOW![edit]

This crap actually got featured!?--Metropolis 20:18, 10 March 2007 (UTC)


I don't think this was really feature-quality. But ok! :)

Hey! I my left hand got cut! -- Emperor Walter HumalaNazi Swastika.svg God save him!(God exists?) Crystal Clear app korganizer.png | wanna Talk? 00:05, 11 March 2007 (UTC)

00:04, 11 March 2007 (UTC)

What do you think about the sections after the image?[edit]

They're new to the article, I kind of like it, but it makes the original joke, I dunno, lose some of its "oomph, haha, the article guys dead, that's why it's so short."--Witt, Union leader.gif of Union member.gif UNion Entertain me* 02:14, 11 March 2007 (UTC)

Personally, I hate them. The article was solid gold as it was. There's no reason to actually continue it. You can't improve perfection.
That's what I thought.--Witt, Union leader.gif of Union member.gif UNion Entertain me* 05:38, 11 March 2007 (UTC)
Remove them, they ruin the article.
Kay, I'll take'em out. --Witt, Union leader.gif of Union member.gif UNion Entertain me* 05:44, 11 March 2007 (UTC)
Much better, very much appreciated.

So talk, Humbled Master, if you want to talk about it. I thought your edits were kind of funny, but on balance, I think it's slightly better without. --Strange.PNG (but) Untrue  Whhhy?Whut?How? *Back from the dead* 09:50, 11 March 2007 (UTC)

Based on a true story[edit]

No, seriously. Winner of the 1996 Darwin Award. --203.206.183.160 12:17, 11 March 2007 (UTC)

Sweet Jesus! What a retard. --80.43.101.178 17:39, 11 March 2007 (UTC)

Protect (or semiprotect) it so that no one can tarnish it's glory.

Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.[edit]

Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were

BermudaBlood.png passersbye were amazed byt the unusually large amounts of blood. passersbye were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. passersbye were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.

amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.

It's Mrthejazz... a case not yet solved. 02:21, 16 March 2007 (UTC)






Replacement for footer?[edit]

I was bored, so don't kill me if you don't like this.

anger2headshot 04:06, 21 March 2007 (UTC)

From Pee Review[edit]

Humour: 8 Funny to me, the narrartor probably would have died by grue anyway.
Concept: 7 Ohhh... Chainsaw beheading.
Prose and formatting: 9 Since it's short, not much is needed.
Images: 9 That is the ONLY image this article needs.
Miscellaneous: 8 Good.
Final Score: 41 This is my first Pee Review, but I just can't stop laughing at this article.
Reviewer: HighGeneral Grue


New Ending[edit]

Eh. I'm sure its been discussed, but I made a special extended edition with eight extra hours of footage. In my userspace for poking at.

Please stop for a moment and unwad your panties. I think that the article, like others needs to have a Part II of sorts. I think that continuing the article in this in-world fashion (ie, "Cleanup in Room 101"), works well. Additionally, the second death leaves the "right method" open as well, because the janitor OBVIOUSLY failed.     EugeneKay wuz here (whine thank)     

Sorry - it has been discussed (or at least enforced by many people) - I think we generally reckon that a second death just dilutes things. Yours would be better than a lot of the attempts we've had just shoved onto the page, but I still reckon it's be better in its pure form. --Strange.PNG (but) Untrue  Whhhy?Whut?How? *Back from the dead* 08:06, 14 July 2007 (UTC)
Mm... HowTo:Cut Your Own Head Off With a Circular Saw, with a ==See Also== on this page ? "Darned fool. You don't use a chainsaw, you use a Circul *splat*" Solves the problem.     EugeneKay wuz here (whine thank)     

New Ending, Redux[edit]

After many months of thought, a new username for me, and a lot of editing, I present to you, the new proposed ending!. Note that the only thing that has changed is the little yellow box at the bottom, which links to the sequel. I've put it up for a Pee Review. I really think that the joke can be taken one more level(but only one) while staying within the acceptable limits of funny dilution. The fact that we've all seen this joke, etc(and a good re-dux is in order) is what I'm relying on for my funny here.

The idea has been pee reviewed already, but you can feel free to review it some more, put out suggestions, etc. Not to be self-serving(ok, I'm self-serving), but I really want to see this change happen.     EugeneKay wuz here (whine thank)   22:28, 2 October 2007 (UTC)  

Follow-up[edit]

Per the Village Dump article, this article has been edited to reflect the new version from my userspace.     EugeneKay wuz here (whine thank)   15:38, 18 October 2007 (UTC)  

Uhoh![edit]

The imitations begin. 76.208.55.172 23:58, 14 July 2008 (UTC)

Video by the guy you last killed[edit]

<youtube>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kiMV43m76g8</youtube>