HowTo:Remove a Splinter

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Are you tired of wooden aliens penetrating your prized blood cells? Do you want to exterminate the little beasts. This is how you remove a EVIL splinter!

How to Remove Big Splinter[edit]

Get a needle and pierce it across the Finger Country (Or Toe State). Pierce it hard enough to make the Foreign Unidentified Big Floating Object (FUBFO) come out of the Finger (or toe). Warning: The Blood may come out during the procedure.

How to Remove Little Splinter[edit]

Same as the Big Splinter, get a needle, but instead of piercing, make a BIG circle around the Foreign Object. Then, peel off the skin very gentle, you don't want to lose the precious blood cells. You will find the object hidden underneath. Pull it out. Beware: When peeling off the skin don't do it Too Hard.

What Will Happen if You Do Not Take Out The Splinter Within 2 Days[edit]

After the 2nd day, at 8 AM exact the Splinter will release the Bacteria and infect you. Symptoms include : Vomiting barf, Feeling dizzy, crave eating, can't sleep, see the Ghost of your Grandmother or Grandpa, or start flying to Mars. At 10:30 AM, The Splinter becomes bigger, making a Balloon to Mars. At 3:02 PM you have reached Mars, the Splinter Kung Fu Master will give the Splinter 300,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 dollars. The Splinter takes you to the Plutonium Burning Machine (patented by Plato). You will get burned at 9:56 PM. That's why REMOVE THE SPLINTER IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!