HowTo:Get high without using drugs or other addictive substances

So you wanna get high, huh? Well, in most cases I would suggest using weed, cocaine or even baby powder but there comes a time in every mans (or womans) life where they wish to get high without the assistance of drugs or other addictive substances. One question arises from this train of thought however; why? What possible benefits could come from being high, if you're not also stoned out of your mind? Now, I have two comedy strategies that I can take to create this article. The first being that I suggest using random substances such as tide pods or vegemite. But that's just stupid. The other being what the rest of this HowTo Article is going to be, which is me using a sarcastic, punny, dad joke? I don't know what the actual name of what I'm about to do is called, but some people may consider me a genius, and others.... not so much.

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Getting High

Now, there are multiple ways to do this.

Plane

Go online and buy a plane ticket to any destination of your choice (preferably the cheapest option). Now go to the airport and pass the security checkpoints, also I should add to leave any weapons or water at home just in case they do search you. The next stage of this operation involves you boarding the plane which may be scary at first but it's bascially just a bus with wings so it's not like it's gonna eat you or something. Take your seat and wait for take off. And ta-da! You are now in the air and flying *high* above the clouds all without the help from drugs or other addictive substances. You are welcome.

A Plane! One of the many ways you can get high without drugs

Building

Now, for the second way, find a building. A really tall one, that is. Now, if you're like me and live in Australia and live close to Melbourne, I suggest using the Eureka Skydeck for this. What you do is simple; you enter the building, go to the top floor and BOOM! You are, in all sense of the word, high. And you did it without the use of drugs or other addictive substances.

Other ideas

There are too many to go into depth about, so I'll just list them for mine and your convience.

• Staircase
• Climb on top of an AT-AT
• Take a helicopter ride
• Climb Mount Everest or any Mountain for that matter
• Go to a waterpark with one of those slides thats like 250m tall
• Go to the UK and catch a double decker bus, those are cool

Conclusion

Now, you may be wondering why the fuck you just read this. And, to be honest, I have no clue. This was a really bad punchline and I apologise. Like, it was funnier in my head. It went something like this;

"So the name of the article is 'HowTo:Get high without using drugs' etc so why don't I make the punchline high as in high instead of high?"

Now, that was a 4th wall break within a 4th wall break and I'm not very original so Ryan Reynolds is probably gonna come to my house in a red suit and beat the crap out of me. For those who aren't into superhero movies, I'll give a better example;

This article is so bad that a man in a ski mask is gonna come and beat me up.

Now, wow how many times am I gonna start a sentence with 'now'? I may be going on a random tangent here, but it's for 'comedic effect' or something idk.

Now (there I go again), you may be wondering what the actual 'punchline' of this article is going to be, and trust me I have one, but you see, I get off to people not getting the punchline to my jokes. But I hope you enjoyed the main joke.

P.S. Doe's anyone know how long the effects of weed lasts for?

P.P.S. I hope I didn't just give away the punchline. Shit, I'm an idiot.