Harvey Weinstein
Harvey Weinstein is the popular name for a sentient fungus developed by the Monsanto Collective. Dr. Werner Herzogfruedenfelter received a patent for his process of infusing pig and housefly DNA into the Weinstein Fungal Matrix®.
Origins[edit]
Cultivated in a jar in New York, Weinstein and his fungal clones grew up on a large, shiny plate of glass, living on human saliva and free bananas. It went on to form film companies and methods of sexual exploitation.
Sexual Abuse Allegations[edit]
The Harvey Weinstein fungus developed a fixation with young human females, which led to his being accused of a number of inappropriate activities, including inserting spore capsules into their pockets, kidnapping them for holidays in warm, vernal pools, and exposing them to his acrid breath and large, spongy mycelial core tissue.
For many years the Weinstein fungus spread unhindered in Hollywood. He would turn up on yachts demanding instant gratification of his desires or he would blight your career for good. This lead to copycat moral illnesses like the Jeffrey Epstein 'Massage-itis' and the Ghislaine Maxwell Depraved Procuress Syndrome by Proxy. They could also be related to Melania or the Gold Digger's Disease.
Future[edit]
Harvey Weinstein is currently working in a rehabilitation facility in the desert southwest hoping to discover a cure for droopy eye syndrome, a challenging handicap he has struggled with since he first infected a Petri dish. This may also be a euphemism.