Petroleum-based automobile fuel
“In Soviet Russia cash costs gas”
“ Gas prices are so high I saw a guy driving to work on an inflatable seahorse, and a guy cutting his lawn with scissors.”
“With oil like that, I can see the middle-easterners just rubbing themselves in money five years from now.”
“BABIES NEED THE GASSS LOWER THE PRICESS!!!”
“I imagined it would taste better.”
Petroleum-based automobile fuel (mistakenly called gasoline by Americans and Pinak, or petrol by other English-speaking people) is fuel based on petroleum created to power most forms of internal combustion engine. First discovered by smurfs in 1986, it has since become highly coveted by a race of rabid pitbulls, and thus has become the cause of multiple wars in east Harlem. Some skeptics of petroleum based automobile fuel eat finely chopped cat liver for breakfast. Unless all the dragons die (as petrol is created by dragons when they urinate) petrol will never run out. Incest is also said to produce petroleum-based automobile fuel at extremely high rates. Other important ingredients are added to petrol such as LSD and a goat hair to increase the price octane rating. Currently, petroleum-based automobile fuel is predicted to be replaced by peanut butter in the year 2337. Petroleum-based automobile fuel can be thinned with alcohol to create fun party drinks including the new E85 ethanol which makes cars swerve more, and increases the likelihoods of ramming a hot car in the rear. Petroleum-based automobile fuel (a.k.a. gasoline) is also one of the optional, yet important, ingredients in puppy, kitten, money, coffee, and gasoline. Americans also use this fuel to as a sports drink, popularly known as Gatorade, thus driving up the price worldwide.
While Pinak complains that the price for petroleum-based automobile fuel has increased to unbearable levels in recent years, it is well known that the source of these troubles is simply cowbell – we simply do not have enough cowbell. If the international governments worked together to get more cowbell, the petroleum-based automobile fuel problem would go away.
At the moment, angry petroleum-based automobile fuel buyers such as Pinak can start a beef with the oil industry.
Gas can also be found in the form of nerve gas but this is dangerous to use as fuel (see article or any movie with a carbomb)
In addition to its other uses, Petrol is drunk by Wonderman's uncle when life gets stressful.
Petrol-based automobile fuel retail outlets[edit]
Petrol based automobile fuel retail outlets, or petrol/gas stations are automotive cathedrals of delight staffed by society's best and brightest stars. Big Oil will soon have more money than Bill Gates.
| “ | Well the people are really just me, well me and my brother of course. We usually hang around at the gas station, sometimes we pump the gas but mostly we just drink Cokes and make jokes about the people coming in for gas. The other day this guy comes in, he's driving a brand new Volvo but he's all grubby looking with long hair and an old coat. My brother says he probably stole the car. We all laughed, the guy goes to the toilet so we go over and look to see what he has inside the car, you know, anything on the seat that would be funny or suptin. But the car is totally clean. My brother says that he must of stole it for sure. Just then I notice the guys coming back and before we know it he's right there with us around his car. He says in a funny foreign accent, "Just bought it, nice looking car isn't it". We all nod and mumble a bit of a yeah, none of us really wanted to be the one to actually talk with him, that would leave us open for jokes about him being our friend or suptin. We all just kinda back up as he gets in the car. He pulls away and as soon as he is out of sight we all break up laughing. For the rest of the day that was our catch phrase, "Just bought it, nice looking car isn't it". Cracks me up every time I think of it. | ” |
The problem with petrol[edit]
The only downside with petrol is it attracts the Aboriginals (a.k.a Boongs if you don't know your history) Aboriginals can not resist the taste of this chemical which apparently takes them to their 'Dream Time', Premium unleaded, in particular, will bring forth the "Rainbow Serpent". George Bush likes petrol, he spreads it on his morning toast whilst washing it down with a strong mug of rich black aromatic oil. All the world think that petrol is the only reason of wars. Your mom loves to kill innocent people for that black oil. Its resemblance to the Australian poison known as Vegemite puts off normal people. Its resemblance to Vegemite has been used to torture silk dealers in Guantanamo Bay.