HIR

Havoc-Induced Radiation (HIR)

Przekompostować in his prime

Havoc-Induced Radiation (HIR) is a phenomenon in which the wreaking of havoc induces the emission of radiation, nicknamed "wreak rays", from the subject. HIR was first discovered circa 1492 by Polish alchemist Osioł Przekompostować. A self-proclaimed maverick renegade in his field, Mr. Przekompostować was working on a highly controversial method of alchemy at the time of discovering HIR, those in nearby laboratories often noting him coming and going with various amphibious reptiles and exotic vegetables.

Though there was much conjecture vis–à–vis his alchemic methods, no one ever managed to confirm them: his laboratory was heavily guarded by a turgid minotaur named Harry and was strictly private. The predominant theory amongst his fellow alchemists, however, was that he believed the reptiles would eat the various lead-infused vegetables and chunder out pure, unadulterated, liquid gold.

Much mystery also surrounds the circumstances in which the HIR phenomenon was discovered – it is reported in various official historical manuscripts that Mr. Przekompostować vanished from the face of the Earth quite suddenly at some point within the closing months of 1492, though the exact circumstances are unknown. According to the manuscripts, the only evidence of his existence was a scientific paper left on his bedside table regarding HIR, including pictorial documentation of the effect detailed below. Legend has it that Mr. Przekompostować was completely illiterate and communicated with a combination of groaning and panting, leading to the accepted belief that the paper regarding HIR was in fact penned by his minotaur friend Harry, a sorrowful endeavour to leave his evaporated amigo some form of legacy.

Scientific specifics

Artist's impression of HIR

Following later research and various experiments, it has been empirically concluded that the rays are similar in nature to photons, except completely erratic in form and able to cause significant damage to the structural integrity of inanimate objects. Many scientists have attempted to contextualise the phenomenon mathematically, though all have failed. A clear representation of this can be seen in a collaborative equation produced by Einstein and Bohr, both widely regarded as two of the most intelligent humans ever to have lived, on the subject:

$\psi _{\textrm {havoc}}=MADNESS$

One can only vaguely suggest what form the radiation has, due to the fact that it is entirely invisible and only traceable through identifying the subsequent effects of the havoc. The pandemonium left in the wake of the radiation is sometimes visible, large concentrations of havoc in a small area occasionally resulting in the transferral of HIR energy into the containment vessel, generating bright white light and overwhelming thermal energy.

Original HIR paper

This paper documents Mr. Przekompostować's work in identifying HIR, using his then patented "Havoc Lens" to view the concentration of havoc left in the wake of various incidents.

Disclaimer: the recognised author of the paper, Harry, could speak very limited English, hence the primitive nature of the document.