GeForce
GeForce is a pseudo-natural force that makes the world go round for braggarts, geeks, and nerds alike. In turn, NVIDIA Corp. uses this force to control the masses so extensively as to make the creators of Wikipedia jealous.
History[edit]
In the year A.D. 1999, the world was in utter chaos and disorder due to an imminent Armageddon. A team of scientists at ATI Technologies was in the process of inventing a teleporting device called Radeon using Radium, at a secret facility called Black Mesa, which would rip-open an alter-universe, called Xen, through which aliens would be sucked into earth, speeding up the unevitable and opening doors to the dominance of earth by a joint government between Xen and ATI. Meanwhile, A team of scientists at NVIDIA Corp. lead by its chief scientist David Kirk, sought to develop a rival technology which was actually designed to save their own asses, but due to popular demand on MTV's Total Request Live, an add-on instruction was added(of course, because it can't be subtracted) through ForceWear clothing to save other people's asses as well by clothing them also with ForceWear. Anyway, A team of scientists at NVIDIA Corp. lead by its chief scientist David Kirk, sought to develop a rival technology that would save the masses or weights, (or whatever!) from the Alien Invasion. According to one of the scientists, they added a host of ingredients including Sugar, Spice, and everything nice as well as scrap metal from dysfunctional TVs, Radios and also a volley of Pentium, Athlon, Sempr0n and Optepr0n processors and one mystical ingredient - Chemical G. Thus, was born GeForce.
The GeForce sported some technically superior technologies for its time, features included Hardware Transform and Lighting, Shading, Drawing, Painting and one surprise feature: Human Cloning. The Human Cloning feature in particular would come in handy during the battle against Xen.
The Battle against Radeon/Xen[edit]
The GeForce was responsible for single-handedly winning the battle against Xen. When ATI's Radeon began spawning a large number of Xen toops onto earth, the GeForce responded by first spawning the legendary Gordon Freeman, father of Morgan Freeman. Then, the GeForce spawned 255 human space marines from Quake III Arena to which Radeon responded with 256 Xen aliens. But, however, the Radeon broke down after doing so much and the GeForce used its cloning feature to quickly clone a further 255 space marines and one Gordon Freeman. Thus, heavily outnumbered, the Xen troops quickly retreated back to their motherland and the GeForce claimed victory. However, in the battle, many clones died including that of Gordon Freeman. Soon after the battle, David Kirk put GeForce into stasis, claiming that frequent iterations will be called upon, When it makes sense. Since it was able to spawn 256 characters in 256 separate bits, the GeForce was, is, and will forever, be known as GeForce 256.
Chemical G[edit]
It is now widely known that Chemical G is responsible for the GeForce's aweless power. A lot of people speculate on the nature of the mystery chemical everyday. One famous speculation was done by Morgan Freeman, the father of Gordon Freeman. He had speculated that Chemical G is nothing but the airpaint NVIDIA uses to colour its logo. GameSpot and IGN speculate that Chemical G might actually be the pulp of John Carmack's brain. A little credibility is thrown into this by the fact that GeForce handles technology discovered by that doomed space marine wonderfully. However, GameSpy claims that it's nothing but John Romero's bitch!
Household uses[edit]
The GeForce fan was originally quiet, but in subsequent revisions, it was made more powerful and noisier. Newegg.com once sold it as a DustBuster vacuum cleaner.
Fermi (BBQ 4xx) is able to grill eggs and steak. The highest-end version, BBQ 480 Roaster Edition, can be used to burn people and buildings.
The GeForce is currently in its 21st iteration and is helping Luke Skywalker defeat the corrupt Empire.
Usage[edit]
The NVIDIA GeForce 320M is the heart of MacBook Air. It makes it taste bad. Its virus driver makes all users with built-in ATI HD 6200/6310 chipsets crash and reboot. It may have additional functions, but it crashes before they can be discerned.