Five Nights at Freddy's

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

“You're a security guard at some place where animatronics roam free throughout the halls while you fight them off until morning using basic methods such as closing doors, wearing masks, or rebooting computer systems. Oh and you can't move, because the restaurant enjoys the tax break from hiring cripples

~ The back cover of the box for the Ultimate Platinum Collection

Five Nights at Freddy's
Oh look, a jumpscare! Better go change those pants!
Director(s) Scott Cawthon
Release date Every few days
Platform(s) Blu-ray
Rating 2scary4me!

Five Night's at Freddy's is an interactive documentary film series that pretends to be a video game created by up-and-rising film director Scott Cawthon. The film surrounds the horrifying events surrounding Fred E. Cheese's, a restaurant franchise that can't stay open longer than a few months or afford decent electrical service. However instead of making the film in one go like normal directors do, Scott decided to release it in four different parts, all of which are filmed in a different order than that of the actual events. While the settings are different, the basics are kept painfully consistent throughout the series.


Here is the plot of the series in the order it should have been made in:

FNAF: Sister Location[edit]

Before Fred E. Cheeses, Baby's Cirque Du Freak was the biggest hit. You play as a popular breakfast meal, who must try not to get eaten by the travelling circus.

FNAF 2[edit]

In 1987, Fred E. Cheese's was born...after a previous one not shown in any of the films was previously shut down. You assume the role of Jeremy Fitzgerald, an enthusiastic paraplegic who snags a job as a security guard and must strategically watch cameras, put on a mask, and play a music box to avoid suffering from a heart attack and/or wet pants from one of the animatronics screaming like a banshee in his face. If you survive the five nights, you learn from suspicious phone recordings that a pedophile stole a Freddy Fazbear outfit and lured children to the back of the restaurant to murder them and then stuff their bodies into the animatronic suits. The restaurant later closes due to the murders.

FNAF 1[edit]

Fast forward three years, and you are now Mike Schmidt, the security guard at a new Fred E. Cheese's that is even filthier than the first. In follow-up to the events of the second game, the animatronic suits are now alive, bleeding, and don't know how to take a bath; the restaurant also now runs off of an iPhone 6 battery. This causes concerns from soccer moms to increase and the restaurant gets shut down again by the Health Department. The gameplay in this one involves slamming doors in foxy's face and turning on lights.

Every FNAF fan's fantasy.

FNAF 3[edit]

Fast forward thirty MORE years and Fred E. Cheese's is finally closed down for good, and capitalists decide to market off of this by creating a horror attraction based off of the restaurant's violent history. But no, you don't get to actually SEE the attraction, because that would require effort to make! No, you are once again a security guard and must protect yourself from a single animatronic by rebooting forever glitching computer systems, pumping hallucinogenic gases into the air conditioning vents, and playing sound effects from that GODDAMN BALLOON BOY! Oh and don't forget the cameras!

FNAF 4[edit]

The black sheep of the entire series: instead of playing as a security guard in a piss poor restaurant, you are playing as either as a child who just had a lobotomy due to an animatronic making his head a snack back in 1987, or the pedophile from 2nd game's first victim. (Both scenarios, however, have been proven impossible). Anyway, you get to move around and scare away the hallucinations you are suffering from. This part was released three months before is was announced to be released.


The film was praised everywhere for its innovative interactivity and stunning camera work. It then proceeded to gain an explosive fan base that enjoys arguing over the meaning of the various hidden messages hidden throughout the film and which animatronic would be hotter to bang. However, professional film critics criticized the film for it being no different than Paranormal Activity, just with less porn and more jumpscares. It received an aggregate score of 1.25% on Rotten Tomatoes and was ruled a commercial failure.