First Amendment

The First Amendment of the United States Constitution legally grants all legal United States citizens (not including those with gymnastic talent and stealth abilities formerly located south of an obstacle which they use their aforementioned abilities to overcome who should be taking up jobs with the CIA, yet apparently are satisfied with McDonalds) to tell each other to shut up. It also allows the abolition of religion and the right to gossip about high-ranking Texans of the same party that developed the First Amendment choking on pretzels. It is the only amendment of the United States Constitution that can allegedly be identified by modern day middle schoolers, as they start exploiting it once they learn its meaning. Amongst the rated-G compliance with the law, several teachers of this audience have reported that the fifth amendment should have been written before the first amendment. They say this because it could better exercise the first amendment on the teacher's behalf concerning the rest of the juice the bigwigs cooped up in a stuffy house all summer gave the eager participants of the first amendment.

The first amendment entitles all who proclaim residence of the United States through the said amendment to not only proclaim their residence in the United States, but to say long, repetitive, obscene, boring, offensive, long, funny, uninteresting, lacking of a redeeming value, unhelpful, impolite, or otherwise freedom-like sentences, words, phrases, or excruciating articles in such a manner.

Through this law several legal games have been promoted, especially among teenage females, to comply with this amendment in every way possible the most, and the first one to even think about the fifth amendment is labeled as solitary and unpopular in the spirit of further continuing the celebration of the first among the bill of rights.

Because of this valuable resource for those answerable to the tyrannical methods of the Bill of Rights, these have flourished and have not been huffed. In addition, quite surprisingly, somehow, inexplicably, this enthusiastic compliance with the constitution has somehow been protected from the forces of the evil fifth amendment.

Examples of extreme and dedicated compliance the First Amendment in popular culture

• Oscar Wilde
• Uncyclopedia
• Wikipedia
• This article
• Rap
• Darth Vacatour
• Middle schoolers
• Nazis
• Yu-Gi-Oh!
• Star Wars Fanon Wiki

The First Amendment versus the Fifth Amendment

• First Amendment: Well, like, I am the like totally best amendment and I like get to like talk! I mean what do you have?
• Fifth Amendment: (Remains silent on the grounds that it may incriminate him)
• First Amendment: Like, it is like, you know, totally like, more important to be the First than like, you know, the Fifth, because, yeah, everyone knows that one comes like, before five.
• Fifth Amendment: (Remains silent on the grounds that it may incriminate him) (or is it a her?)
• First Amendment: Yeah, and like, blah blah blah blah... Y'know? Like, I let everyone tell each other their feelings, and it means that I get to post more on my Myspace, which nobody can see because I have the freedom of speech by the powers invested in those such as me by me and... what was I talking about?
• Fifth Amendment: (Remains silent on the grounds that it may incriminate him)
• First Amendment: Like, I think the guy in the awesome shirt is totally hot. And you know what? Like, when I was first written I was written first. So I like have what's-that-big-word over everyone else and I'm more... like... yeah.
• Fifth Amendment: (Remains silent on the grounds that it may incriminate him)
• First Amendment: Why are you just sitting there? You're being so annoying! Ah! You don't like me do you?
• Fifth Amendment: (Remains silent on the grounds that it may incriminate him)
• First Amendment: !#@!~@#$!&*(%^^&^%@&!&%&@!^%@!BLAH!#^$@#!&!!&$!@$$%&!
• Fifth Amendment: (Remains silent on the grounds that it may incriminate him)
• First Amendment: Don't tell me you don't think that's whatever-that-big-word-is! I have the freedom of speech! Like, I can do whatever I want!
• Fifth Amendment: (Remains silent on the grounds that it may incriminate him)
• First Amendment: I'm suing you. I have the freedom of expression and you're denying me of it!