Fake IDs

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Fake IDs are the #1 export of the United States of America. Without revenue from Fake ID sales, the entire American Capitalist economic system would collapse overnight.

Recommended uses of Fake IDs[edit]

Fake IDs are useful in many different situations, and are absolutely essential if anyone ever wants to travel anywhere.

Obscure your actual face[edit]

If you have a recognizable face, flashing your Fake ID in front of your face can help you obscure your features and avoid discovery and capture. This is a preferred method by most fashionable suicide bombersand other people who want in.

Fool foreign governments into thinking you're somebody else[edit]

This method was developed as part of a Creative Commons collaboration by You and Anonymous.

By putting the name "Somebody Else" and a picture of yourself on your Fake ID, you can fool most stupid illiterate border guards in foreign countries that you are, in fact, the Queen of England, Elvis, or the Pope. This is useful for many different kinds of practical jokes, like Jihad against the Jews and infidels.

Waltz across borders[edit]

This requires a Walkman, mp3 player or other portable music device, loaded with some Waltz music.

  1. Press play.
  2. Dance: one, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three.
  3. Cross border.

Steal Somebody Else's identity, and thus, money[edit]

Yeah, show up at a bank with a withdrawal check and a Fake ID. You can't go wrong.

Obtain alcohol and nicotine products[edit]

The National Minimum Drinking Age Act of 1984 (US only) for the first time required minors to use Fake IDs when purchasing alcohol. (Between prohibition and 1984, Fake IDs were optional for minors.) This legislation was pushed through by lobbyists for Adobe and HP.

While your own Fake ID will allow you to personally purchase these products, Somebody Else's Fake ID will allow you to withdrew money from their account to buy those staples of a well-round diet, alcohol and cigarettes. This is quite beneficial to everyone involved, as Somebody Else is too chicken to use their Fake ID.

If you do not have a Fake ID, all is not lost. Just make up some fake alcohol, and trade it for a Fake ID.

Drive land and air vehicles without permission[edit]

Main article: Grand Theft Auto


Pretty much do whatever you want, in a general kind of way[edit]

This is only for true Fake ID masters, but is definitely the best use of Fake IDs!

Example of a Fake ID[edit]

Mexicandeport.jpg Uncyclopedian Passport
This is a valid Uncyclopedian Passport granting the holder "Patrick O'Flaherty" Passage to any country, Excepting Canada, The United States, England, Or any other country anyone would actually want to live.