Election
“I r t3h v0ter.”
“Yes, we have elections. Evely molning.”
“I love elections. In fact, I'm having one right now”
“sure he has great tax cutting plans but my penis would completely dwarf his penis.”
An erection or rather a useless election, is a democratic procedure, in which people choose soulless cash whores who they feel will bullshit them best. After the polls close, the people finally discover who they feel is the best corrupt bullshitter. This bullshitter assumes their erected position, representing the wealthy and corrupt until the next useless erection comes along.
Erection campaigns[edit]
Prior to an erection, the soulless cash whores participate in campaigns, in order to gain the support of their constituent commoners. They attempt to prove their qualifications as soulless cash whores by attempting to obtain as many photographs reading books to child negroids, and reiterate the fact that homos are bad (or okay at best), as much as possible.
In 2008-9, the notable erection to world domination is the American Presidential Race
During this time, the cash whores gather the money from their corporate overlords, for whom they will make decisions as elected officials. Many who oppose the cash whores still help elect them, because taking small steps for positive change must involve reinforcing corruption, and the cash whores are just so good at what they do. In political debates, politicians say effective, clever things about one another like "Liar Liar Pants on Fire!"
Erection victory[edit]
Within months of erection victory, the soulless cash whore assumes their erected position. In many cases, they go far above and beyond their call of erected duty. They are given a period of years to fulfill their obligations to their wealthy overlords, and if they are unsatisfactory, during the next erection the people can replace them with an even better societal succubus demon.
Historical Erections[edit]
Lyndon Johnson[edit]
On November 22, 1963, Lyndon Johnson was elected President of the United States in Daley Plaza, Dallas, Texas. Controversy remains over the details of this election. Officially, only 3 votes were cast, but eyewitnesses recall 4 to 6 votes. Did Lee Harvey Oswald vote alone, or were there one or more additional voters? Most famously, the so-called "Magic Ballot" allegedly nominated John F. Kennedy twice, paused and changed directions in mid-air, then nominated Texas Governor John Connolly five times, while emerging intact and unmarked. Everyone in the world thinks this is perfectly reasonable, except for wacky conspiracy nuts.
Bush v. Gore (2000 U.S. Presidential)[edit]
The United States 2000 Presidential erection is the most notable in modern history. It was a tight race between Tweedledumb and Tweedledumber. It is a shining example of erections in action! So the legend goes, Gore actually had a more popular vote in the state of Florida. However, he made a grave mistake when signing his name on the application form to run for president. Always a joker, Gore wrote 'Your Mom!!!!1!11' on the form, leading to much confusion about who the identity of the winner was. Since they couldn't find who really won the election, they had to give the swing state to the man who came in second, one Dubya "George W." Bush.
Vote or Die[edit]
Sen. Sean "P. Diddy" Combs (R-WI) launched a controversial campaign during the 2000 Presidential Campaign, promising to add an amendment to the Constitution where anyone failing to vote for Bush would be given the death penalty. Surprisingly for a politician, he failed to keep his promises; angering the white middle-class demographic responsible for most of his music sales. His country music career has taken a nosedive since.
Erectal reform[edit]
In September of 2008, the Kraft-Belger Act was passed to ban voters that voted for George W. Bush in both the 2000 and 2004 erection from voting again in the 2008 election. Voters for the current President were deemed mentally insane and the act bans them for one erection period.
Hussein v. Hussein (2000 Iraq Presidential)[edit]
While this erection only offered the option of voting for a tyrant, or choosing "no" and getting tortured and shot, it is praised by critics of the electoral process in the United States, as it offered more diversity in ideology and options than do most American erections.
2006 US House Erection[edit]
| Party | Seats | Popular Vote | |||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 2004 | 2006 | +/− | % | Vote | % | +/− | |||
| Communists | 202 | 0 | -202 | 0 | 0 | 0% | -100% | ||
| Real Americans | 232 | 0 | −232 | 0 | 0 | 0% | –100% | ||
| Make Kevin Federline Go Away Party | 1 | 435 | +434 | 0 | 60,000,000 | 100% | +100,000% | ||
| Others | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1,305,803 | 1.7% | –1.9% | ||
| Total | 435 | 435 | 0 | 100.0% | 666 | 100.0% | 0 | ||
| Voter turnout: 36.8 % | |||||||||
Election[edit]
Well, election has pretty much nothing in common with erection. However, you're a dumbfuck, so you probably wanted to visit the erection article? L2spell!