Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/December 3

December 3: World Structural Engineering Day

• 2542 BCE - Egyptian Pharaoh Khufu commands that a round tower be built as his tomb. Engineers and the constructors build a giant pyramidal structure instead following earlier practices. After a facepalm, Khufu requests the engineers and construction managers to inspect the structure's interior, then seals them all inside. He then buys a plot at Forest Lawn, where he rests today.
• 422 BCE - Ancient Greece develops the concept of ethics. This would be ignored by structural engineers and most people throughout history.
• 24 CE - Jesus becomes a carpenter but many of his projects would be denied licenses without approval by structural engineers. Luckily, the cross He will be crucified on is fast-tracked by Roman engineers.
• 901 - Vikings remove the horns from their helmets due to attacks by amorous bulls and nearsighted toreadors.
• 1173 - The foundation is laid for the Tower of Pisa; and the building almost immediately begins to tilt. Historians investigating the cause found original plans which had the name of the architect and the construction company cut out. They suspect the Mafia to be responsible as that group controls not only construction companies but picture postcard sales of the tower as well as every image of it on Getty or Shutterstock.
• 1923 - Bumblebees are forced to walk everywhere as calculations show they should not be able to fly.
• 1940 - Engineers fresh from building thrill rides at Coney Island and Palisades Park supervise the completion of their design of the Tacoma Narrows Bridge. They decide to spice up the trip for commuters, exceeding their best efforts at the aforementioned amusement parks. (pictured) The U.S. government would later enlist the engineers in the war effort by having them volunteer for tank and aircraft construction in Germany and Japan.
• 1989 - The Stone Roses band writes a song that says they "want to be a door".
• 2013 - The 2.2 mile (3.5 km) eastern section of the San Francisco-Oakland Bay Bridge is completed with a cost overrun of only US$6.25 billion. With all of its subsequent problems, the bridge section has now been slightly downgraded to allow 35 cars an hour in each direction, and will stand up to winds of up to 10 mph (16 kph) and earthquakes of 3 on the extended wimp scale. Engineers assure that it will withstand an asteroid impact on Jupiter. Resistance to kaiju attack has not been addressed.
• 2018 - The SR 99 tunnel, created by boring a huge tunnel under Seattle, was celebrated at its opening by a crowd on the Viaduct, which not only had no toll and a view, but would later be torn down in favor of the toll tunnel.