Category:HowTo/Suicide

Uncyclopedia does not endorse the committing of suicide. If you, the reader, are contemplating suicide, there is a Suicide Crisis hotline in most countries that will give you better advice than that found on the typical Uncyclopedia page. Just skip the rest of this article and go directly to the list of suicide crisis lines; call 1-800-273-TALK in the US or the Samaritans Helpline (116 123) in the UK. In a life-threatening emergency, calling 1-1-2 from any mobile telephone should get you the local 9-1-1 (North America), 000 (Australia), 111 (New Zealand) or its national equivalent in most locations.

Besides, we are not responsible for any actions taken by readers, because readers are responsible for their own actions. Except perhaps the actions that led them to this website. Moreover, we do not endorse the reading of Uncyclopedia by anyone under the legal Age of Majority, or by anyone too stupid to understand that this is not a real encyclopedia, but, like, a satire.