HowTo:Write a suicide note
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So you've decided to kill yourself.
During this time in your life, you're probably trying to avoid as much stress as possible. As such, we have compiled this easy to use guide on how to compose your own suicide note.
What Is A Suicide Note?
A suicide note is a note left by one who has committed suicide. It usually, but not always, contains the reason(s) for killing oneself.
How To Compose Your Own Suicide Note
When writing a suicide note, be sure to spell check and save the letter before printing. Not only will this save you time the next time you try and kill yourself, but it will avoid embarrassing and confusing typos.
1. Address the letter. Dear is the customary opening, but feel free to use a salutation that best fits your personality. Example: For the dark suicidal people Hello it's me from beyond the crypt just saying or if your a cheery one Why hello dear.
2. Explain to the world your pain and/or suffering. It is important to be as specific as you can in this section. If someone has wronged you, this is your best chance to really sock-it-to-um. Also you can blame it on someone who you just don’t like for any reason like if their hair looks funny or whatever. Do not miss this it could be your last chance.
3. How did you kill yourself? This is usually used only if the method is not self-evident. If you hanged yourself, it would be redundant to include. However, in the case of drug overdose, it would be courteous to leave a list of the drugs (prescription or otherwise) you used. And in the example of slitting your wrists please leave the bloody razor right next to the note so that makes it a little more evident.
4. Close the letter. Sincerely is usually, but not always, the appropriate manner in which to close your suicide note. Others may be used with caution if the situation is deemed appropriate.
5. Are Post-Scripts Appropriate? Never. Everything you have to say should be included in the body of the note. And if it is not said let them figure it out.
Editing Exercise
Mister McBadGrammar is trying to write his suicide note, but without much luck. Can you help him improve it?
Dear Cruel World,
Seeing as how my girlfriend just broke up with me, and considering how sometimes i am a jackass to all of my friends, I have decided to take all of the extra strength tylenols I can find in my mother's medicine cabinet. The only problem is, I don't know how to open the medicine bottle, so I when you find me I will have swallowed that whole. If it won't fit, I'll smash my throat with a hammer until it does.
None of you ever noticed my never-ending pain that was my life. It was so hard growing up in a caring, loving environment as a well-off teenager living in the Western world. Especially you, Jenny. You totally know who you are and you totally ruined eight-grade chemistry for me.
Sincerely,
Mitch Mitchum