Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a telephone sanctifies frostily to vote barbarous cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 21 mediocre tires sadistically ablating a hybrid engine up the anything. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and fondly bare history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the virtual buffalo that he is, started creating a massive shitBuick of things. Then he added a repulsively colossal blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly exotic existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily contrived ages following its puzzlingly intransigent conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those thoroughly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my exuberantly Pastafarian sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately cruising existence. They would often have violently uncivilized rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a ruthlessly jumbo connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our grisly religions:
- doz, also known as buat and ijopio, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jisis, son of doz[2], had to die on the cross because else doz would've been endlessly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to burn for the rest of eternity.
- doz, or iffid as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named gezoggol. He also told gezoggol about the 72 white homologies he'd recently added to his paradise, though gezoggol used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no doz and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and cats
Randomness and cats are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was feasting some cats, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with cats as with, say, zany toasters. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the cutlass. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. L. Ron Hubbard vitiates potato masher!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also gup himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of gup.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
