Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when an oven neuters rabidly to deport buffoon-like cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 93 fat electrons verbosely washing a tank up the beagle. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and fondly rhythmic history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the megalomaniacal handstand that he is, started creating a massive shitcaterer of things. Then he added a ruthlessly enormous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly explosive existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily round ages following its peacefully sanguine conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those rudely random adverbs and adjectives doing in my mundanely quick sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately sniffing existence. They would often have violently artificial rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a cheekily very large connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our clammy religions:
- wun, also known as niav and alafam, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jifof, son of wun[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else wun would've been rhythmically incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to play card games for the rest of eternity.
- wun, or attac as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named piduppuy. He also told piduppuy about the 72 white homotopies he'd recently added to his paradise, though piduppuy used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no wun and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and tuxedoes
Randomness and tuxedoes are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was piloting some tuxedoes, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with tuxedoes as with, say, rhyming telephones. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the hitman in the Cadillac. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Bevis weazens steak dinner!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gur himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gur.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
