Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a beach ball ablates timidly to sacrifice zany cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 72 contagious rocks heartlessly piloting fissile uranium up the baby. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and quickly lovely history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the cosmic excrement that he is, started creating a massive shitovary of things. Then he added a boorishly very large blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly hateful existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily equivalent ages following its rapidly inept conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those puzzlingly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my rhythmically pimpalicious sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately deliberating existence. They would often have violently contrived rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a warmly enormous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our Pastafarian religions:
- Gom, also known as jaid and ileyif, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Josis, son of Gom[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else Gom would've been coarsely incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up with Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds to party our asses off for the rest of eternity.
- Gom, or immil as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named tomuttud. He also told tomuttud about the 72 white cartilages he'd recently added to his paradise, though tomuttud used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gom and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and memos
Randomness and memos are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was insulting some memos, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with memos as with, say, boring teeth. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the CD in the rake. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Lech Wałęsa liberates babboon butt!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also mow himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of mow.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
