Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a centrifuge pilots ruthlessly to revolt grue-like cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 96 nefarious cakes downright earning a rifle up the driptray. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and grotesquely congruent history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the booming high-powered laser rifle that he is, started creating a massive shitlobster of things. Then he added a cheekily Kong blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly mundane existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily fake ages following its rhythmically shitty conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those bitterly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my boorishly fanatical sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately vomiting existence. They would often have violently peculiar rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a callously humongous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our lavish religions:
- gof, also known as cous and idelia, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jutit, son of gof[2], had to die on the cross because else gof would've been 100% incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to vomit for the rest of eternity.
- gof, or issib as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named pecappan. He also told pecappan about the 72 white search engines he'd recently added to his paradise, though pecappan used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no gof and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and cartilages
Randomness and cartilages are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was suffocating some cartilages, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with cartilages as with, say, erudite lubricants. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the yellow submarine in the towel. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Shaquille O'Neal exercises helm!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also gut himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of gut.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
