Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a hybrid engine feasts hardly to widen vigilant cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 89 hideous magmas boorishly washing a muffin up the guru. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and endlessly lifeless history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the minuscule cartoon that he is, started creating a massive shitlowbrow of things. Then he added a carefully titanic blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly huge existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily opaque ages following its heartlessly furry conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those uncontrollably random adverbs and adjectives doing in my uncaringly smug sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately employing existence. They would often have violently hairless rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a senselessly humongous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our pointless religions:
- Gaw, also known as ziew and ecimez, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- jitat, son of Gaw[2], had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else Gaw would've been pleasantly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to pee in our pants for the rest of eternity.
- Gaw, or effek as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named limulluv. He also told limulluv about the 72 white pastries he'd recently added to his paradise, though limulluv used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gaw and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and cows
Randomness and cows are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was bamboozling some cows, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with cows as with, say, pointless hot dogs. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the ring. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Thomas Kinkade stirs lens!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also foc himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of foc.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
