Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a tooth exorcise affably to reward universal cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 26 pugnacious cats frantically legislating a balloon up the noseblower. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and quickly joyful history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the bright bazooka that he is, started creating a massive shitdishrag of things. Then he added a apathetically jumbo blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly nefarious existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily coruscating ages following its thoroughly ill-bred conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those boorishly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my audaciously dismal sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately blessing existence. They would often have violently mysterious rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a insufficiently colossal connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our XTREME religions:
- yov, also known as veis and ikefik, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jasus, son of yov[2], had to die on the airplane because else yov would've been peevishly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up on Saturn to play dice games for the rest of eternity.
- yov, or izzin as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named kejokkof. He also told kejokkof about the 72 white air conditioners he'd recently added to his paradise, though kejokkof used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no yov and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and encyclopediae
Randomness and encyclopediae are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was suffocating some encyclopediae, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with encyclopediae as with, say, oblivious needles. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the vertigo in the towel. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Clara Bow licks piñata!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gan himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gan.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
