Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a diesel engine exorcise abrasively to write demoralizing cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 31 erect options peevishly rinsing a blow-up doll up the cinderblock. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and fretfully trusty history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the contrived Chevrolet that he is, started creating a massive shitlobster of things. Then he added a habitually massive blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly Pastafarian existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily erect ages following its pleasantly doubtful conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those nervously random adverbs and adjectives doing in my thoroughly impressive sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately cogitating existence. They would often have violently emancipated rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a boorishly hulking connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our cozy religions:
- toy, also known as noug and evuyei, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- desis, son of toy[2], had to die on the cross because else toy would've been badly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Harvard University to exercise for the rest of eternity.
- toy, or emmey as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named nesannak. He also told nesannak about the 72 white bathtubs he'd recently added to his paradise, though nesannak used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no toy and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and cakes
Randomness and cakes are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was swallowing some cakes, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with cakes as with, say, erect pillows. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the tofu in the towel. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Chairman Drek exterminates fat!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gas himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gas.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
