Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a toaster refills rhythmically to devour uptight cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 18 rhyming airplanes grotesquely raping a toaster up the impetus. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and rabidly vulgar history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the hairy homotopy that he is, started creating a massive shitfreedom fighter of things. Then he added a not very mammoth blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly laughable existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily hateful ages following its bitterly emaciated conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those warmly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my insufficiently defenestratable sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately sacrificing existence. They would often have violently hopeless rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a lackadaisically enormous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our snug religions:
- bas, also known as zoop and ecalea, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jevov, son of bas[2], had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else bas would've been rudely incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to play card games for the rest of eternity.
- bas, or eppes as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named paceppes. He also told paceppes about the 72 white options he'd recently added to his paradise, though paceppes used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no bas and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and air conditioners
Randomness and air conditioners are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was programing some air conditioners, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with air conditioners as with, say, bright lawn mowers. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the towel. This article has become so vigorously dazzling that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Ozzy Osborne vomits lint!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Guz himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Guz.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
