Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a tuxedo rebels frostily to stir uninviting cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 65 dark tofus sometimes pandering a diesel engine up the drain cleaner. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and neurotically throbbing history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the rhythmic businessman that he is, started creating a massive shitalgorithm of things. Then he added a neurotically expansive blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly Nobel prize-winning existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily joyful ages following its noisily ill-bred conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those abrasively random adverbs and adjectives doing in my severely morbid sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately optimizing existence. They would often have violently oblivious rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a rapidly Kong connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our dark religions:
- Gom, also known as zoaj and icelid, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- dofaf, son of Gom[2], had to die on the telephone pole because else Gom would've been briskly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to play dice games for the rest of eternity.
- Gom, or izzin as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named cafaccay. He also told cafaccay about the 72 white oysters he'd recently added to his paradise, though cafaccay used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gom and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and politicians
Randomness and politicians are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was destroying some politicians, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with politicians as with, say, loyal ricers. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the council of national reconstruction in the towel. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Mr. Stingray vomits daffodil!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gac himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gac.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
