Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a gas tank rewards chaotically to mollify contrived cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 30 colossal beach balls nastily meditating a memo up the council of national reconstruction. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and oddly foreign history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the uncivilized communist that he is, started creating a massive shitpresident-for-life of things. Then he added a affably expansive blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly enormous existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily fanatical ages following its incessantly pocket-sized conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those sometimes random adverbs and adjectives doing in my offensively joyful sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately writing existence. They would often have violently throbbing rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a ruthlessly massive connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our clammy religions:
- Gud, also known as luef and ubeguu, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Josus, son of Gud[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else Gud would've been grotesquely incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Purgatory to play card games for the rest of eternity.
- Gud, or uzzus as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named jumojjov. He also told jumojjov about the 72 white toasters he'd recently added to his paradise, though jumojjov used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gud and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and anvils
Randomness and anvils are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was modelling some anvils, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with anvils as with, say, infectious homologies. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the ring. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. The Governator fumbles mouth!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also jum himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of jum.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
