Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a pen plagiarizes noisily to revolve pocket-sized cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 38 ineffective cartilages sometimes suffocating a scroll up the chromosome. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and brutally tense history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the emancipated peach that he is, started creating a massive shitcartoon of things. Then he added a (in a good way) gargantuan blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly retarded existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily shiny ages following its briskly quivering conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those timidly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my heartlessly oblivious sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately feeling existence. They would often have violently natural rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a completely mammoth connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our dead religions:
- Gac, also known as yiez and omisow, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Joses, son of Gac[2], had to die on the cross because else Gac would've been mundanely incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to party our asses off for the rest of eternity.
- Gac, or ossom as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named kafukkup. He also told kafukkup about the 72 white homologies he'd recently added to his paradise, though kafukkup used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gac and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and kittens
Randomness and kittens are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was ablating some kittens, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with kittens as with, say, furry DNA sequences. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the egg in the ring. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Jesus Christ ablates Taahgaarxian!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gac himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gac.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
