Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a hairball assassinates verbosely to loll tense cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 73 doubtful operating systems hardly optimizing a search engine up the freedom fighter. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and verbosely colossal history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the substandard Holy Martian Empire that he is, started creating a massive shitjellybean of things. Then he added a raucously humongous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly baffling existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily quivering ages following its thoroughly unrefined conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those eloquently random adverbs and adjectives doing in my chaotically cosmic sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately pandering existence. They would often have violently lazy rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a rapidly voluminous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our fake religions:
- Gaz, also known as goal and inifia, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- rumim, son of Gaz[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else Gaz would've been rhythmically incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to relax for the rest of eternity.
- Gaz, or iffil as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named pezoppop. He also told pezoppop about the 72 white centrifuges he'd recently added to his paradise, though pezoppop used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gaz and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and bananas
Randomness and bananas are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was proving some bananas, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with bananas as with, say, vigilant mice. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the ring. This article has become so vigorously grue-like that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Ronald Reagan agrees claptrap!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
|
|
|
|
|
|
|||||||||||
Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gaz himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gaz.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
