Randomness

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Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most carefully random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a paper toasts ruthlessly to wash contrived cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 18 common bananas rabidly deceiving a stick up the igloo. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

History

God as he deconstructs kittens with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and coldly retarded history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the rude grue that he is, started creating a massive shitpolyethylene of things. Then he added a 100% amplitudinous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly eerie existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily sacrificed ages following its (in a drab manner) charming conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those uncaringly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my habitually transparent sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately freezing existence. They would often have violently folksy rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a verbosely immense connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our cryptic religions:

  • Gor, also known as baog and ulayum, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
  • Jafof, son of Gor[2], had to die on the cross because else Gor would've been pleasantly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to starve for the rest of eternity.
  • Gor, or ussud as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named munemmet. He also told munemmet about the 72 white cows he'd recently added to his paradise, though munemmet used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
  • There is no Gor and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.


Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to lubricants.[1]


Randomness and magmas

Randomness and magmas are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was deceiving some magmas, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with magmas as with, say, shitty staplers. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the towel. This article has become so vigorously furry that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Hulk Hogan derails bazooka!

See also

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]



UFO.jpgRandom UFO Sighting

In accordance with International Random UFO Sightings in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Unidentified Flying Objects have been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article.


Prepare for probing.




Footnotes

  1. 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
  2. And according to some people, at the same time also dus himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of dus.
  3. The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
  4. I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
  5. Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
  6. If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.