Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a plague washes (in a good way) to cruise loyal cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 29 zany cockroaches not very vomiting a neurotoxin up the plastic. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and seldom vast history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the wobbly calculator that he is, started creating a massive shitdaydream of things. Then he added a often amplitudinous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly substandard existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily dazzling ages following its heartlessly abnormal conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those sadistically random adverbs and adjectives doing in my apathetically boring sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately cogitating existence. They would often have violently sexy rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a neurotically Kong connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our pointless religions:
- Gun, also known as sies and ayajal, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jisas, son of Gun[2], had to die on the telephone pole because else Gun would've been blaringly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to play dice games for the rest of eternity.
- Gun, or ammar as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named seyussuf. He also told seyussuf about the 72 white cakes he'd recently added to his paradise, though seyussuf used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gun and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and fissile uranium samples
Randomness and fissile uranium samples are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was mystifying some fissile uranium samples, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with fissile uranium samples as with, say, clammy cobs. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the towel. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Tom Cruise throws stampede!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Guz himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Guz.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
