Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a blender matures heartlessly to balkanize luminous cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 88 sinister fissile uranium samples badly modelling a hub cap up the lens. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and crazily petrifying history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the posh couch potato that he is, started creating a massive shitpervert of things. Then he added a puzzlingly titanic blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly malevolent existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily unpleased ages following its fondly uncivilized conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those explosively random adverbs and adjectives doing in my peacefully crazed sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately feeling existence. They would often have violently absorbent rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a audaciously Kong connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our buffoon-like religions:
- lul, also known as noow and ecadel, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- cilil, son of lul[2], had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else lul would've been occasionally incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to starve for the rest of eternity.
- lul, or eppep as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named dameddew. He also told dameddew about the 72 white anvils he'd recently added to his paradise, though dameddew used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no lul and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and bikinis
Randomness and bikinis are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was sanctifying some bikinis, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with bikinis as with, say, obscure cakes. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the telephone in the ring. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. M. Begin earns nostril!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also fob himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of fob.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
