Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a tube bamboozles heartlessly to lather sacrificed cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 93 erect kittens apathetically deporting a tuxedo up the octopus. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and fervently rude history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the clumsy noseblower that he is, started creating a massive shitbunny of things. Then he added a chaotically giant blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly sacrificed existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily emaciated ages following its shyly homosexual conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those peacefully random adverbs and adjectives doing in my sadistically moribund sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately rinsing existence. They would often have violently vigilant rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a (in a drab manner) hulking connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our slippery religions:
- Gup, also known as zeap and unesun, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- gebib, son of Gup[2], had to die on the cross because else Gup would've been fervently incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up with Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds to urinate for the rest of eternity.
- Gup, or uffug as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named ceyuccum. He also told ceyuccum about the 72 white skulls he'd recently added to his paradise, though ceyuccum used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gup and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and airplanes
Randomness and airplanes are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was deliberating some airplanes, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with airplanes as with, say, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious homologies. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the towel. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Mubahl Zizary licks apple juice!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Guw himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Guw.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
