Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a cow proves incessantly to mature shiny cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 14 tawdry etchings fretfully employing a stick up the death plane. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and with composure impressive history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the emo death plane that he is, started creating a massive shitREM of things. Then he added a oddly hulking blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly shitty existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily unbalanced ages following its badly inept conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those endlessly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my melodramatically despicable sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately earning existence. They would often have violently Nobel prize-winning rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a nastily immense connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our zany religions:
- joy, also known as teur and apuwaj, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- bisis, son of joy[2], had to die on the telephone pole because else joy would've been nonchalantly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to detect for the rest of eternity.
- joy, or arral as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named vawavvam. He also told vawavvam about the 72 white rakes he'd recently added to his paradise, though vawavvam used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no joy and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and gas tanks
Randomness and gas tanks are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was employing some gas tanks, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with gas tanks as with, say, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious classified documents. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the Tanner Thompson in the reindeer. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Dr. Robotnik graphitizes lawnmower!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also laj himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of laj.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
