Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a dog house burns ruthlessly to earn bright cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 61 smug sticks unsympathetically meditating a cockroach up the high-powered laser rifle. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and easily joyful history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the oblivious dog house that he is, started creating a massive shitfritter of things. Then he added a badly very large blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly folksy existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily grisly ages following its with composure melodramatic conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those eloquently random adverbs and adjectives doing in my pleasantly artificial sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately mystifying existence. They would often have violently furry rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a grumpily humongous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our emancipated religions:
- Goy, also known as koar and eyekem, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Juwaw, son of Goy[2], had to die on the comma because else Goy would've been easily incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to urinate for the rest of eternity.
- Goy, or ettej as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named talattav. He also told talattav about the 72 white dog houses he'd recently added to his paradise, though talattav used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Goy and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and plagues
Randomness and plagues are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was sanctifying some plagues, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with plagues as with, say, clumsy rifles. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the muffinface in the dolly. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Dr. McNinja graphitizes General Tso's kitten!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also vug himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of vug.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
