Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when magma riots senselessly to sell emancipated cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 99 posh hot dogs abrasively cogitating a toaster up the event. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and uncaringly scanty history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the cryptic gyroscope that he is, started creating a massive shitpie of things. Then he added a brutally colossal blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly slippery existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily bloody ages following its melodramatically cute conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those audaciously random adverbs and adjectives doing in my compulsively lazy sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately deliberating existence. They would often have violently defenestratable rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a haphazardly colossal connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our grue-like religions:
- God, also known as sioc and ejuwec, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- josus, son of God[2], had to die on the cross because else God would've been suitably incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to play card games for the rest of eternity.
- God, or effek as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named garaggaz. He also told garaggaz about the 72 white mugs he'd recently added to his paradise, though garaggaz used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no God and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and glycerins
Randomness and glycerins are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was insulting some glycerins, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with glycerins as with, say, inept documents. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the flagella in the codswallop. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Jack Paar terrorizes eel!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also yod himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of yod.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
