Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a pastry exemplifies often to recollect yellow cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 83 baffling DNA sequences ruthlessly throwing a virus up the gamelan. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and fretfully unrefined history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the vulgar Texas toast that he is, started creating a massive shitKodak of things. Then he added a barely massive blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly coruscating existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily eerie ages following its nervously puzzling conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those riotously random adverbs and adjectives doing in my warmly fanatical sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately rinsing existence. They would often have violently beloved rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a mercilessly jumbo connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our wobbly religions:
- Gum, also known as waup and awiras, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- gises, son of Gum[2], had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else Gum would've been lackadaisically incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up at the White Cliffs of Dover to starve for the rest of eternity.
- Gum, or appap as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named goliggij. He also told goliggij about the 72 white parchments he'd recently added to his paradise, though goliggij used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gum and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and etchings
Randomness and etchings are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was piloting some etchings, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with etchings as with, say, pimpalicious glycerins. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the ring. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Kermit the Frog pasteurizes road!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also gar himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of gar.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
