Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a cockroach rewards affably to orate remarkable cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 92 zany homotopies offensively constructing a beach ball up the asparagus. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and fortissimo ugly history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the uptight cable that he is, started creating a massive shitplague of things. Then he added a suitably monstrous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly obscene existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily educated ages following its repulsively exotic conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those peacefully random adverbs and adjectives doing in my poorly fat sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately suffocating existence. They would often have violently bright rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a warmly monstrous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our pyrrhic religions:
- gol, also known as zeut and uketus, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jusas, son of gol[2], had to die on the cross because else gol would've been often incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to starve for the rest of eternity.
- gol, or ussun as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named bobibbit. He also told bobibbit about the 72 white cakes he'd recently added to his paradise, though bobibbit used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no gol and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and centrifuges
Randomness and centrifuges are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was throwing some centrifuges, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with centrifuges as with, say, no-frills etchings. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the PlayStation. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Colonel Angus feels dyslexia!
See also
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gos himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gos.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
