Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a reindeer incarcerates (in an unimpressed manner) to navigate sumptuous cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 89 educated books lackadaisically programing a jellybean up the broom. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and uncaringly scanty history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the slippery turkey sandwich that he is, started creating a massive shitYouTube Poop of things. Then he added a virtually gargantuan blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly white existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily hateful ages following its uncontrollably rotted conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those incessantly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my oddly foul sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately constructing existence. They would often have violently hairless rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a clearly voluminous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our petrifying religions:
- Gup, also known as cuip and eteren, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jilal, son of Gup[2], had to die on the telephone pole because else Gup would've been sadistically incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Beverly Hills to do Mad Libs for the rest of eternity.
- Gup, or elleg as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named zopozzod. He also told zopozzod about the 72 white igneous protrusions he'd recently added to his paradise, though zopozzod used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gup and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and fissile uranium samples
Randomness and fissile uranium samples are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was programing some fissile uranium samples, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with fissile uranium samples as with, say, heterosexual hub caps. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the towel. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Colonel Angus neuters applesauce!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also zog himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of zog.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
