Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a chromosome unties exuberantly to sanctify shitty cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 21 dead bathtubs peevishly recollecting a clock up the Game Boy. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and disturbingly uncivilized history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the tawdry gymnasium that he is, started creating a massive shitrabbit of things. Then he added a (in a drab manner) monstrous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly no-frills existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily dead ages following its distastefully pricey conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those virtually random adverbs and adjectives doing in my verbosely laughable sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately giving existence. They would often have violently dazzling rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a not very mammoth connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our spine-chilling religions:
- Gat, also known as buag and ujusua, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jevev, son of Gat[2], had to die on the cross because else Gat would've been shoddily incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up inside the Black Hole of Calcutta to play dice games for the rest of eternity.
- Gat, or udduy as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named fukeffek. He also told fukeffek about the 72 white home theater systems he'd recently added to his paradise, though fukeffek used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gat and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and oysters
Randomness and oysters are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was rinsing some oysters, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with oysters as with, say, flaccid petroglyphs. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the barn in the ring. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Mike Litoris feels keyboard!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
|
|
|
|
|
|
|||||||||||
Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gul himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gul.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
