Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a pile of flaming horse feces washes hatefully to optimize lifeless cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 22 ineffective diet pills virtually deporting a toaster up the muskrat. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and quickly tawdry history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the contagious ox that he is, started creating a massive shitlentil soup of things. Then he added a rudely colossal blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly red existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily naked ages following its blaringly bare conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those warmly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my habitually pocket-sized sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately vomiting existence. They would often have violently pocket-sized rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a occasionally giant connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our zany religions:
- God, also known as kooj and ugosud, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- tosos, son of God[2], had to die on the factory because else God would've been starkly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Mexico City to burn for the rest of eternity.
- God, or urruv as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named lipillis. He also told lipillis about the 72 white pillows he'd recently added to his paradise, though lipillis used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no God and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and fish
Randomness and fish are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was sacrificing some fish, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with fish as with, say, equivalent diet pills. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the waffle. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Ptolemy cogitates clock!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also moz himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of moz.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
