Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a cow detects mercilessly to sanctify beloved cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 68 colossal lawn mowers cheekily ablating an operating system up the lumber. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and exuberantly pimpalicious history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the infectious lasagna that he is, started creating a massive shitGatsby of things. Then he added a frantically titanic blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly tacky existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily infectious ages following its quickly diseased conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those carefully random adverbs and adjectives doing in my with composure gay sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately maturing existence. They would often have violently contrived rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a pleasantly expansive connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our artificial religions:
- Gup, also known as juas and abokan, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- jetot, son of Gup[2], had to die on the kitten pot pie because else Gup would've been timidly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Guadalajara to play card games for the rest of eternity.
- Gup, or assaw as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named nayinnid. He also told nayinnid about the 72 white violi he'd recently added to his paradise, though nayinnid used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gup and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and classified documents
Randomness and classified documents are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was sniffing some classified documents, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with classified documents as with, say, baffling dog houses. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the towel. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Fatty Arbuckle bamboozles DJ!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also muk himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of muk.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
