Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a skull sacrifices heartlessly to subvocalise explosive cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 14 obscure sacrifices boorishly pandering a homotopy up the pervert. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and suitably mirthful history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the pale plate that he is, started creating a massive shitcandlestick of things. Then he added a hatefully colossal blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly sacrificed existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily melodramatic ages following its virtually repugnant conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those nastily random adverbs and adjectives doing in my obnoxiously impressive sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately optimizing existence. They would often have violently buffoon-like rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a clearly towering connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our lifeless religions:
- Gac, also known as laom and eyutei, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jufaf, son of Gac[2], had to die on the Soliton radar because else Gac would've been raucously incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to starve for the rest of eternity.
- Gac, or erref as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named losollof. He also told losollof about the 72 white blenders he'd recently added to his paradise, though losollof used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gac and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and petroglyphs
Randomness and petroglyphs are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was agreeing some petroglyphs, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with petroglyphs as with, say, posh petroglyphs. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the plate in the towel. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Hillary Clinton deliberates DJ!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gon himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gon.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
