Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a diode detects peevishly to hurt rigid cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 75 rude t-shirts frantically vomiting a nuclear reactor up the magma. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and occasionally diseased history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the lazy Geiger counter that he is, started creating a massive shitnuke of things. Then he added a downright immense blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly idiotic existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily artificial ages following its insufficiently sheer conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those with composure random adverbs and adjectives doing in my poorly ugly sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately writing existence. They would often have violently massive rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a downright towering connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our buffoon-like religions:
- Goc, also known as yiof and eruwei, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jasus, son of Goc[2], had to die on the cross because else Goc would've been puzzlingly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in The Shire to vomit for the rest of eternity.
- Goc, or ellez as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named zijezzef. He also told zijezzef about the 72 white tubes he'd recently added to his paradise, though zijezzef used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Goc and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and ricers
Randomness and ricers are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was throwing some ricers, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with ricers as with, say, shitty houseplants. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the clitoris in the philosopher. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. General Hooker swims lisp!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gaj himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gaj.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
