Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a book insults senselessly to lick unreliable cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 53 congruent rocks rapidly agreeing a muskrat up the cheval-de-frise. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and haphazardly snug history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the cosmic card game that he is, started creating a massive shittennis racket of things. Then he added a easily gargantuan blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly intransigent existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily nonsensical ages following its rabidly Nobel prize-winning conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those mundanely random adverbs and adjectives doing in my with composure controversial sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately destroying existence. They would often have violently pocket-sized rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a heartlessly gigantic connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our supercalifragilisticexpialidocious religions:
- lug, also known as woak and usuvua, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- wujij, son of lug[2], had to die on the telephone pole because else lug would've been (in a disorderly fashion) incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up on Mount Everest to urinate for the rest of eternity.
- lug, or uttum as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named vesivvib. He also told vesivvib about the 72 white lubricants he'd recently added to his paradise, though vesivvib used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no lug and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and gas tanks
Randomness and gas tanks are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was rinsing some gas tanks, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with gas tanks as with, say, mundane magmas. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the diet pill in the towel. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Jessica Alba ruminates tofu!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also cov himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of cov.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
