Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when fissile uranium devours lackadaisically to hurt mediocre cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 41 emaciated blenders clearly freezing a broom up the ten-foot pole. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and habitually ugly history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the on edge cowbell that he is, started creating a massive shitlentil soup of things. Then he added a bitterly amplitudinous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly tacky existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily Nobel prize-winning ages following its mercilessly round conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those boorishly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my habitually huge sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately deceiving existence. They would often have violently explosive rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a haphazardly humongous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our despicable religions:
- Gaf, also known as buak and ozikoo, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Juses, son of Gaf[2], had to die on the flightdeck because else Gaf would've been repulsively incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to relax for the rest of eternity.
- Gaf, or obboc as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named mocommom. He also told mocommom about the 72 white lubricants he'd recently added to his paradise, though mocommom used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gaf and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and violi
Randomness and violi are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was recollecting some violi, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with violi as with, say, vast electrons. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the wall in the hallway. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Lord Kelvin vitiates Pyrex!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also juv himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of juv.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
