Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/April 2

April 2: National Refrigerator Day (Paraguay)

• c.9000 BCE - During severe late freezes, cavemen would kill a mammoth but leave it intact to freeze solid. Then by pushing it over, it would shatter, making easy-to-carry pieces to take home. This would eventually turn into the practice of cow tipping after cattle are domesticated.
• 1111 - The Knights Templar come into being as a clandestine drinking society.
• 1391 - Bob Hope fights a grizzly bear and is elected King of Prussia upon his victory.
• 1646 - The Little Ice Age makes refrigeration unnecessary, as people are too cold to get up and make dinner in the first place.
• 1942 - The classic arcade title 1942 is designed; the rights to the year are purchased by Capcom.
• 1983 - Science is invented by accident. It is quickly swept into a bedpan.
• 1984 - Miniluv put crimethink proles into fridge, remake them goodthink fullwise. Maytag Man is sent to Room 101.
• 2002 - The U.S. Kitten Embargo begins as part of The War Against Terror. (pictured)
• 2005 - St. Peter's Basilica accidentally eats the Pope but is killed by atheist Harry Potter.
• 2005 - The first Expired Goods Festival is held. Its popularity is proven by all the attendees that expire afterward.
• 2007 - The third Expired Goods Festival is held and abandoned, due to mutant foodstuffs eating exhibitors.
• 2008 - The X-Men come to fight with mutant foodstuffs but later have found that they're the same kind as them. So they have a good brotherly group hug and leave.
• 2009 - Thousands are found dead with a bag of frozen peas or mixed vegetables stuck to their faces after Indiana Jones supposedly proves you can survive a nuclear blast by hiding in a refrigerator.
• 2010 - Wayne Rooney discovers second brain cell then asplodes after information overload.