World Rover GW
So, you're fed up with your sex life? Girlfriend just dumped you, or simply ready to move onto that hotter chick? You need the new World Rover GW!! For now as cheap as only £7995[1], it comes with the in-built PussyMagnet too![2] You will be surrounded by adoring chicks who dig your wheels' slick body and powerful roar! It is suggested the ride in this vehicle is rougher than a night in bed with Ross and a few bottles of Vodka.
Big Pimpin[edit]
But of course that's not all that it's capable of! With now 2 gallons per mile, you can drive for hours with our super huge 100gallon tank! As an optional extra[3], you can have a Throttler put on your exhaust to big up that deep roar we've already mentioned, making it throatier than ever[4]! I just bet you love piles of gadgets on your car. You're tired of the lack of interesting switches, buttons and lights on your boring old banger, aren't you? Get it up with the PimpBoxx[5], which is full of lights, buttons, sounds and switches![6] Another turn on for the ladies! Plus, your car can be decked out however you like with our range of the latest fascias[7], neon lights[8], absolutely-hugeass-no-way-fuck-off tyres[9] and a 1500MW stereo system[10] so the whole neighbourhood can hear your exqusite taste in music!
Gadgets[edit]
Wait, there's more! The GW also features a customisable engine and an inbuilt Satellite Navigator with feed to an earphone, so you can drive along really knowing where you're going, and of course this too will impress that biatch. No more stopping to ask drunk tourists for directions!
Safety[edit]
Don't go away, I haven't finished yet! There's still loads more to the fantastic GW! So, are you concerned about safety? Worried for your beloved other who you pulled with our PussyMagnet? The GW's shell is made of a tungsten and adamantium alloy to crush anything that dare touch your beloved GW, from five year olds who weren't holding their mother's hand to old ladies hobbling across the road, from rabbits to elephants[11]. No more dents, so drive as recklessly as you like[12]!
Boot Space[edit]
Oh, hang on... Did I mention boot space? No? Well, there's 12 cubic metres of it in the back for all your bling, guns, crack, dogs, illegal immigrants, motorbikes and ho's... Whatever floats your boat, there's room for it in the GW![13]
Conclusion[edit]
To summarise: pull those birds, travel loudly and in style, pimp your ride to its maxx, and all for only £7965! Get the new, the ultimate, the wonderful, the almighty... WORLD ROVER GW![14]. And we don't believe the rumours about big cars compensating for anything. Trust us, we built it!
The small print[edit]
- ↑ This model without seats or engine.
- ↑ Advanced models only.
- ↑ £300
- ↑ May cause extra carbon emissions.
- ↑ £550
- ↑ PimpBoxx has no actual funcionality.
- ↑ £50-75
- ↑ £250
- ↑ £180 ea.
- ↑ £375
- ↑ Not tested on animals. Well... maybe once, or twice, but no-one was looking.
- ↑ World Rover do not encourage reckless driving, unless under the influence of drugs, alcohol, sex or simply a good mood.
- ↑ World Rover do not encourage any illegal activity. Except as mentioned above.
- ↑ May have the carbon emissions of the average passenger airliner.