Video Editors

Video Editors are Wierdos who do things for attention

Video Editors also known as pseudo-geeks are a rare cross breed between geeks and gansters. They produce much of video material you view on television, in the movie theater and on the internet. Although they spend enormous time editing there creations behind the computer, very few of them know how to program, yet they still amaze their nerdy C++ programing counter parts with their dazzling creations and have their respect. However, unlike there nerdy half siblings, video editors also get some exercise and walk into the open sun with confidence. Like there gangster half brothers video editors are typically popular and network people from many different demographics, yet if they look white, they are not looked upon as a posser.

Video Editors filming day Schedule[edit]

This video editor infront of a poorly constructed green screen

5:00 am, time to get up!
5:01 am, whops, no time for breakfast! Gotta Go!
5:05 am, cold shower (the amount of hot water I use is inversely proportional to the amount of equipment I can buy).
5:10 Stuff equipment into a box along with props and costumes.
5:30 Get everything into my car.
5:45 Time to go to location (excellent, driving time is an excellent time to get some sleep).
6:00 But first some gas for my car.
6:15 Time to meet my friend who has another car to fit people into we also talk for a bit about up coming projects.
6:55 We arrive at meeting spot to meet up with actors, extras, and others.
7:00 No one shows up

Video Editors are also Stalkers

7:05 No one shows up
7:10 No one shows up
7:15 No one shows up
7:20 People show up, but they are people meeting for a mountain bike trip.
7:25 No one shows up
7:30 Finally the first person shows up.
7:45 more people show up.
8:00 More people show up
8:15 A few more people show up finally we decide we need to go.
8:20 We find out everyone wants to stop at the McDonalds we just passed, so we get out and have some breakfast.
8:35 We play the video games at macshack
8:40 We get our food (and an extensive bill)
9:00 Everyone is full, time to move out
9:10 People start getting bored in the car, we turn on the radio to keep people entertained.
9:15 People can't agree on what to listen to, we turn off the radio.
9:45 We arrive at our filming location (A bit late though) which is a local, yet surprisingly exotic location.
10:00 We get equipment up, people get into costume and begin practicing.
10:30 We start to roll camera with the first scenes.
11:00 Un used actors and extras get anxious, my friend goes off with them to entertain them somehow while we film.
11:30 Our actors and extras are getting hungary for lunch, we urge them to keep filming.
11:45 One of our actors needs to go home in the middle of filming, we quickly try to finish up his parts before trying to figure out the logistics of how to film while getting him home
12:00 My friend drives the actor home while I try to film some more scenes
12:10 The cast urges me to bring them to lunch soon, but with my friends car gone, I couldn't possibly fit all of them and the equipment into my car, I then use this as an excuse to keep filming.
12:15 The battery in the camera ran out, I look for spares and then I realize that they are all in my friend's car.
12:55 My friend returns, But now we can't film, we all pack up the costumes and equipment in to boxes in a hastily unorganized way and then we get every one to go to lunch.
12:10 We all come to a convenience store where we eat, while I recharge batteries and and me and my friend look at what we have so far.
1:00 We leave the convenience store to go back to the location.
1:15 We come back to the location.
1:30 We reset the equipment which was much more difficult because everything in the boxes are all messed up and everything is harder to find now.
1:45 We start filming again
2:00 We realize that now that everyone has eaten, they are now sluggish and lazy, spending most of their energy on digestion.
2:05 we try to proceed with filming.
2:15 A camera malfunctions while changing tapes, and needs to be checked out (more bling bling down the drain).
2:30 Everyone is getting very tired now, and the sun is making things very hot, we try to finish up what we need to film.
3:00 With things on the script basically wrapped up we pack some stuff up and take some stock footage of the scenery incase we forgot to tell someone to say something in the script so we can out them in-front of a green screen so they can say the line and then we'll key in the back ground.
3:15 With everything packed up we then get a tired crew back into the cars and head back to the meeting area.
4:00 We return to the meeting area and everyone gets in there cars and goes home.
4:15 Me and my friend head back to his house to log and capture what we got today, and organize equipment.
4:30 We open up the boxes and separate who's stuff is what, we take out the cameras, to hook up to our computers.
4:45 I put all my stuff in my car, except for my camera.
4:50 We hook up our cameras to our computers through our IEEE-1394 cables.
5:00 Well within logging footage onto computers we begin to argue about politics.
5:30 We conclude that even though we think each other's political views are completely wrong, we agree that the black man is bad and must be stopped.
5:40 Logging and capturing is complete. We then put all the video onto my external hard drive, while that is happening we decide who will edit what.
6:00 All the video is on my drive, I pack up and go home.
6:20 I return home, drag all my stuff inside and crash on the couch
6:30 I get and get something to eat while I watch TV
6:45 I see something on the news that really pisses me off, and gives me an Idea for a future movie.
7:10 I am done eating and watching TV, I then get my hard drive, hook it up to my computer and open up Final Cut Pro.
7:15 My project is set up, and I start cutting together video.
7:30 I open up my email and begin emailing people thank you letters for coming to film today.
8:30 I get up and start putting things away.
9:30 Everything is put away, time to get back to editing
10:00 My project is progressing, rendering is a bitch though (I need more ram, faster processor)
10:30 I get distracted and go to youtube to see what other people are making.
11:00 I continue editing and start piecing together clips that need special effects and other advanced editing.
11:15 Special effects and rotoscoping commences.
12:00 I slowly finish rotoscoped clips and import them into final cut.
1:00 I cut together more clipage
3:00 Most of the special effect clips are done a rough cut is coming together.
4:00 I realize that although I have useable clips for this movie, I still need more clips, so I need to plan another day like this. Time to go to bed.

Life Style[edit]

Video editors like to edit videos, its why they live, everything revolves around it. but videos also take a long time to make, thus they usually try to cut down on the time it takes to do anything.

Cloths[edit]

Video editors wear simple clothes, usually a T-shirt and jeans do it for them. However, sometimes, they do wear highly ornate cloths if they are being filmed. They never wear overly baggy cloths because that would get in their way, and they never wear tight cloths because that would make them look gay.

Food[edit]

Food is usually simple and easy to eat, Diet Usually consists of Luchables, Ramen Noodles and energy bars.

Sleep patterns[edit]

Sleep? What the hell is that? No Seriously, who has time? You can sleep when your dead.

Social Life[edit]

Social life goes as far as recruiting people to be in movies and finding people to fund them.

Reproduction[edit]

Video editors do not typically have mates, not because they cannot get one, but because they wouldn't have time for one anyways. Relationships take a while, and if they have a kid, the time spent on the family would be too overwhelming such that film making would be impossible.

Religion[edit]

Christians have the cross, We have the Apple

“Are these people running a company or a religion?”
~ Bill Gates on Apple

Simply put the Video Editors Religion is Apple, they make the software and computers all the editors use in their daily life. Since Apple has made video editing so easy and fun the video editors they worship the corporation like a god. They dream of the latest macs during the one hour a day that they sleep, they think about what the company will come out with next, They praise Steve Jobs as the great prophet. Infact it is no coincidence that Apple is treated like a religion by its video editors, and by extension its followers, because it was set up like that when the thing started.

Posers[edit]

If you look like this, you're not an editor

Yes because video editors are totally awesome and cool, there are some people who pretend to be a video editor. Perhaps it is to pick up chicks or gain acceptance. But either way you should avoid them, here are some common traits of the possers.

They don't make movies.
They make movies, but they suck.
They are emo (Video editing takes a lot of work, and emo kids don't know how to work)
They have names like Eddie or Jurmay.
They use windows to edit there movies

If you think some who you think is a video editor exhibits these traits, stop believing there an editor, then eat some cheese (If you don't know what eat some cheese means, your not an editor) .