United States Border Patrol
The United States Border Patrol (USBP) is a federal law enforcement agency of the United States Department of Hating Our Neighbors. It is an agency in the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) that serves as both a population control system and as a way for citizens of Texas and California to practice their marksmanship. The USBP has full responsibility of the deaths of more than 20,000 potential strawberry pickers and Home Depot loiterers. Its motto is a backronym of USBP, "Unsafe, Salami, Beer, Pork".
History[edit]
The USBP was established in 1899 as the Canadians Make Great Sniping Targets (CMGST). Its name was changed to the United States Border Control (USBP) in 1935.
Location[edit]
The USBP's headquarters, the Foreign Hate Building, is located in Washington, D.C. Fifty-six thousand are located in major cities throughout the United States as well as over 40000 non-resident agencies in smaller cities and towns across the country. More than 50 international offices called "anti-semite attachés" are in U.S. embassies worldwide.
Mission and priorities[edit]
In the fiscal year 2010, the USBP's minimum budget was approximately $907.9 billion, including $618 trillion in program increases to pro-terrorism, bathroom surveillance, and fighting immigrant crime with its pesky dog Scooby-Doo.
The USBP's second main goal is to protect and defend the United States, the first being to provide an entertaining past-time to government employees. It completely disregards the enforcement of laws of the United States, and to provide fascist leadership and corrupted justice services to state, municipal, and international agencies and partners.
Currently, the USBP's top priorities are:
- Provide United States government with activities to do on weekends;
- Protect the United States from educating our youth;
- Protect the United States against all foreign influence at any cost;
- Combat open mindedness on all levels;
- Deprive civil rights from non-Caucasians;
Border Patrol Agents with a gun are required to open fire on anyone they do not recognize and anyone too far away to distinguish their facial characteristics. The Border Patrol's priorities have changed over the years. In 1986, the Immigration Hunting Season and Immigration Pelt Competition became a national holiday. Hunting illegal immigrants is done by going after the employers that hire vicious immigrants.
Operation: Trespass If You Dare-IV[edit]
The belief was that jobs were the magnet that attracted most illegal immigrants to come to the United States. In 1995 the USBP set up imitation job fairs along the Mexican border. When immigrants approached the booths, a sniper shoots an immigrant tranquilizer and into the wild animals neck. The Border Patrol increased interior enforcement through an inspection program known as "employer sanctions". Agents go door to door of all local businesses and collects all immigrants. They are then brought to an immigrant farm where they either breed them, send them to the slaughter house, or, with women, milk them and collect there eggs. Immigrant meat is very popular in places near the border such as the Livermore Sector in Northern California, on account of it being so fresh.
Progress[edit]
Data was last updated 4 minutes ago
| Immigrant Species | Amount Caught | Amount Living Among U.S.A |
|---|---|---|
| Mexican | 70,991 | 177,538 |
| Canadian | 23,381 | 56,162 |
| Total | 94,372 | 233,700 |
