Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Narwhals - Africa
Narwhals - Africa[edit]
This is my first uncyclopedia article. It is satire. I don't know if it's funny, or if it isn't. I also don't want it to come across as racist. My goal is to make fun of people who think that way, not Africans. And I'm also looking for some criticism in the area of formatting and how it looks. Flyingnarwhals (talk) 17:42, January 12, 2019 (UTC)
| Added 17:42, January 12, 2019 (UTC) |
Reviewed[edit]
Hi
First, you are encouraged to keep articles not ready for publishing off the mainspace, which I am assuming you tried to do here. Format the article as User:Flyingnarwhals/Articlename. This essentially leaves the article untouched by others until it is ready for release. You can ask an admin to move it into mainspace when finished, or copy text and make it a new article though you cannot delete the original file in userspace by yourself.
Second, there is already an article on Africa; we don't allow two or more on the same subject in most cases. Normally, we would point you to it and let you add to it, but note that is a featured article and is not allowed to be edited except in very rare cases, like adding somebody's death date. Your edit will be normally reverted if you try editing a featured article.
Formatting – Looks just fine. Since we're supposed to be a Wikipedia parody, keep that look in mind, though that's been violated in the past. For section headers, note that we don't capitalize all words there except proper names, just like Wikipedia.
However, note that to carry on the Wikipedia look, we want a lead photo at top right. Plus we should have more pictures than one per article. You can adjust image parameters by editing after writing the article. The typical image format is File:Nameoffile|thumb|right|widthpxl|image caption in double square brackets, where "right" can also be set as "left" and width is a number. "thumb" must be in there. Basically, you can open existing articles with "edit" and see how formatting is done. So then templates you like can be copied from other articles and you can substitute your data for your article. Further, avoid using watermarked images; it's too amateurish and is also seen as a mistake.
I like how you added some internal links. Don't go overboard with red links since nobody seems to be writing articles to match nowadays.
Spelling/grammar – Very good. In the Tribal music subsection, did you mean "maracas"? Otherwise, I don't think you have to worry at all. Some editors like to jump in and do some nitpick editing in this area when you publish; let them.
Humor – Heck yeah, it's funny. Well done. Still, you need to add some depth/more writing to at least some of the sections. Wikipedia parody, remember. So create longer paragraphs without adding too much useless stuff. You might also write a longer setup and then drop in the major joke/viewpoint at the end. 3181 characters is considered lightweight here; about 5000 characters is a better minimum for an article unless it is a truly specific subject. But you have a taken on a major subject here, so even that would be considered to be insufficient. The existing Africa article is about 18,000 characters; really, not enough for the subject matter but it's hard to be consistently funny in a much longer article.
Again, the big issue is the article duplication problem. You might consider changing your article to (for example) West Africa so the slavery section and other parts can be kept and expanded, or even one country -- there is no article for Senegal. You do not have to become an expert there and you can just make up stuff, but you can go to Wikipedia to get ideas to parody. You might even read the existing Uncyclopedia Africa article to get ideas -- no stealing from there or other sites, though.
So carry on; you've got a great start here. --
(talk) 10:36, January 14, 2019 (UTC)
I did some updating on your Africa (for White People) as it will correspond with an expanded White people so be sure to do your homework before you even dig in. Be careful of Duplication because what Nigel said. --Factfinder510 (talk) 03:46, March 1, 2019 (UTC)