Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/October 24
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October 24: Evil Villain Appreciation Day, National Put the Ramones On at Full Volume and Piss Off the Neighbors Day
- 1683 BCE - An evil villain ties an Egyptian princess to the Nile River to have her killed by the Aswan ferry boat.
- 452 BCE - Hippocrates invents the painkiller aspirin by banging his head against a willow tree.
- 1644 - Unseasonable temperatures cause handlebar moustaches to rise out of the oceans and attach themselves to the upper lips of the unwary.
- 1867 - After mass revolt by the Australian and New Zealand governments, Oilcan Harry becomes guardian of UCT.
- 1889 - First recorded use of pure-hearted maiden strapped to railroad tracks to attract a ransom; the deed, while dastardly, merely attracts Royal Canadian Mounted Police who save the girl and thwart the plan.
- 1931 - Polish schoolboy Joseph Ratzinger is arrested for arson, rape and general troublemaking. The Pope declares this day an International Catholic holiday.
- 1941 - Hitler writes the lyrics of Blitzkrieg Bop. It later becomes a hit song by The Ramones.
- 1943 - Morocco becomes the capital of evil villains; they are simply fed up to "here" with Hitler's needy personality.
- 1969 - Your second grade teacher, mean old Miss Masters™, takes away your favorite doll and holds it ransom. The beeyotch demands that you earn an "A" on your spelling test or "Dolly gets it".
- 1971 - Evel Knievel ateempts a new world record by jumping his motorcycle over 227 women tied to railroad tracks.
- 1977 - Habitat for Humanity contemplates rebuilding the Big Bad Wolf's house for charity. Instead it decides on euthanasia as a more cost-sensitive option.
- 2006 - Evangelist Billy Graham holds a Ramones concert; all of Canada kept awake until 3AM.
- 2008 - Stockbroker Oilcan Harry IV twirls his mustache and laughs gleefully as the stock market crashes the day after he cashes out.
- 2017 - Oilcan Harry IV becomes US Secretary of the Treasury and promises to tie women to railroad tracks for ransom in order to balance the budget.