UnNews:Woman discovers boob mixup
| UnFair and UnBalanced | ✪ | UnNews | ✪ | Saturday, December 21, 2024, 16:49:59 (UTC) |
| Woman discovers boob mixup | 
|
22 July 2021
Chicago, IL USA -- Claire Mack of Chicago, IL in the USA has found that she has an unusual reversal in her body layout. Upon having an x-ray image taken for an unrelated medical condition, she was informed that her heart was pointing in the opposite direction to most people, a condition only found in about one percent of the population. UnNews has contacted Ms Mack to get a more detailed account of her rare condition.
UnNews: "Good morning, Claire. What's the story on your unexpected discovery?"
Claire: "It all started when I had this awful cough and found out that it wasn't COVID. That was a relief, because everybody coughs when they have COVID, so nothing newsworthy there."
UnNews: "So how does coughing affect the way your heart points?"
Claire: "Well, they said I had to have an x-ray because of the cough. Then they tell me that my heart is around the wrong way. They told me this sort of thing just happens sometimes. So no news there."
UnNews: "Right. So what's the thing with your boobs?"
Claire: "I thought about it and realized that boobs are more newsworthy than hearts, unless you die and I didn't want to go that far. So I asked if my heart was round the wrong way, were my boobs round the wrong way, too?"
UnNews: "And what was the medical opinion on that?"
Claire: "He said that it was kind of hard to tell a left boob from a right boob and so he really couldn't say. Like if you have your left hand on the right side it's really easy, because you can tell that your thumb is where your little finger should be and the same for the other fingers except the middle finger. So if you give somebody the finger it's harder to tell whether your hands are round the right way."
UnNews: "But if you flash your boobs, it's pretty much impossible to work out whether they're round the right way."
Claire: "Yeah, except don't get any ideas. So I figured that your heart is more important in a health kind of way than your boobs, because you can live without your boobs but you can't live without your heart. So if your heart is round the wrong way, it's entirely possible that your boobs are too. Now this has made an enormous difference to the number of followers I have and I've picked up sponsoring from a company that makes left handed bras."
UnNews: "Are you thinking about checking whether anything else on your body may be round the wrong way?"
Claire: "Of course, I thought about knees, but nobody cares a rat's about knees. Then I had this great idea. Suppose my butt is round the wrong way? I'm working on a new feature because a lot of people care about butts."
UnNews: "Well, thanks for the amazing interview Claire and get back to us if you find out that anything else might have followed your heart, so to speak."