UnNews:Wii Remotes Begin To Rape Children
| Where man always bites dog | ✪ | UnNews | ✪ | Thursday, November 21, 2024, 11:43:59 (UTC) |
| Wii Remotes Begin To Rape Children | 
|
3 July 2008
Tokyo, Japan Earlier Today:
There have been widespread reports going around today about wii remotes suddenly coming to life an anally raping kids. Fortuanantly, these reports have been isolated to only Japan (stupid chinks). A spokesperson for Nintendo of Japan had this to say, "Ok riight, like da' big hotdog dings' come to life and start banging da' kids. And da' kids yell 'Uh-oh hotdog!' And we not know why dis be happining, but we know it funne as hella!" The Japanese Army (actually a bunch of Gundams) was brought in to quell the attacks, but as soon as the robots found out they could get banged by other robots (wii remotes) they stopped fight and asked to be butt-raped. Oddly enough, Japan happens to have the biggest porn industry in the world, so these so called "rapes" were actually considered good. According to a random Japanese gamer kid, he said, "You know, why everyone think this all bad? It not, you see, I aleady love Hentai so this just make it more, how you say, interactive!" After about 12 hours from the time this incident first started, the reports suddenly stopped cumming in (get it?), and the incident stopped completely. This has been a report of da Associamated Press.
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This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent. |
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