UnNews:Sotomayor clarifies racial remarks

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15 July 2009

Sotomayor, left, giggles at a slideshow of Sen. Jeff Sessions' favorite LOLcats.

WASHINGTON (AP) - Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor, in her second day of questioning before the Judiciary Committee, refused to renounce her comment that a 'wise Latina' woman might be better positioned than a white man to make a wise court ruling.

Sotomayor argued instead that her controversial statement that a "wise Latina" could reach a better decision than a white man was a poorly expressed but valid point about the value of differing perspectives in applying the law.

"It is clear that my words have been misunderstood," Sotomayor said. "I was trying to explain that fatass gringos don't know how to do jack shit besides smoke cigars and watch reruns of Friends."

Jeff Sessions of Alabama, the ranking Republican on the committee, criticized Sotomayor for her vague response, asking if her comments implied that she would bring either a gender and racial bias to the high court.

"Last time I was at Taco Bell, I saw this trick-ass white ho trying to eat a burrito with a fork," Sotomayor responded cryptically. "She look so stupid! My ese Jorge hooked me up with a seven-layer burrito."

The controversy stems from a ruling Sotomayor made two years ago in Riverkeeper, Inc. vs. EPA, 475 F.3d 83 (2007), where she opined, "Normally, Hemsley would be the controlling case law; however, due to the questions of Federal jurisdiction, and the fact that any wise Latina can see that this skanky Riverkeeper slut has fake titties like every other white trash ho, this court holds that 32 U.S.C. § 34 is best interpreted in light of Brighton."

Sessions expressed doubts that Sotomayor had been upfront about what she really meant.

"She had a hard time with that," he said. "No. I don’t think she handled that well, frankly. There are some pretty stark contrasts between what she said at the hearing and what she said in her speeches — very clear contrast."

Sotomayor repeatedly defended her comments as ones that were not intended to suggest any gender or ethnicity has an upper hand on the bench. "Why don't you go find a page to molest, cabron?" she inquired of Sessions.

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