UnNews:Saudi Arabia shoots self in foot with lower sand prices

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Every time you think, you weaken the nation —Moe Howard UnNews Saturday, December 21, 2024, 15:43:59 (UTC)

Saudi Arabia shoots self in foot with lower sand prices UnNews Logo Potato.png

28 December 2014

Saudi sand stockpiles waiting for export

RIYADH -- The number one raw sand exporter, Saudi Arabia, has stumbled across a possible national deficit in 2015. The impact of plunging artificial beach prices, along with the decision not to cut sand exports, is putting pressure on the country’s finances, which will inevitably lead not to lower royal standards, but to drastic cuts for all non-royal العوام, and this unwanted austerity could most likely spawn a wahhabi backlash from the rank and file Mutaween.

The figure was part of the endorsed 2015 budget, which was made public in a statement shouted-out on Saudi-run television, The Jihad Channel, on Thursday.

The estimated trade deficit will be Saudi Arabia’s largest since Lawrence of Arabia first began written records back in 1962 . The Finance Ministry said the government will try to save some money by cutting off hands, food, water, electricity, base salaries, wages, and allowances that represent around “90 percent of total budgeted expenditures.”

But the move could anger Saudi terrorists, who are already struggling to cover the costs of living while fighting as mercenaries out of the country.

According to the International Usury Fund (IUF), about 90% of the population works for the government (although less than 10% of the government works for the people). The 2015 budget excludes over 800 zillion riyals in spending on food and water and 715 zillion riyals spending on suicide vests. Saudi Arabia promised to cover the difference by digging even deeper into its sand reserves.

At the latest SPEC (Sand Producers Economic Conference) meeting in Vienna, Austria, the Gulf country opted not to cut the production ceiling of 30 million tons per day, despite sand prices plunging nearly 50 percent since winter.

Saudi Arabia has also made clear that it is unwilling to cut down production, even if sand prices continue to fall further. Last week, the country’s sand minister, Ali Al-Naimi, said that sand sales would not be reduced, even if prices fall to $2 a ton.

The decision has been interpreted by some experts as trying to weed out new players from North America, who can competitively produce inferior crushed shale sand at higher prices. However, lower sand prices also directly hurt the economies of countries like Iran and Libya, both major sand exporters.

Some economists speculate that the deficit in 2015 might be much lower than projected, since Saudi Arabians, unaccustomed as they are to mathematics, have overguesstimated the figure in the past.

Related:

Sources[edit]