UnNews:New amusement park opened in Chernobyl

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30 July 2006

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Of course, the cast of Disney are no strangers to weird shit.
Bus from Moscow to Disney/Chernobyl.

HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH, Ukraine -- Disney announced the opening of their much anticipated Chernobyl amusement park. Despite the park's location in a town full of nuclear radiation, the park, being the first opened in the region, has attracted thousands of Ukranians and amusement park adventurers.

The park, titled Disney Town resembles more of a carnival, but still has the Disney atmosphere.

"I like to ride the ten-legged reindeer on the Merry-go-Round," said one park visitor earlier this afternoon. Other visitors seem to be attracted to the main ride: a 300 ft. tall rollercoaster called "Stalin's Genocide". Ironically, the park also has its own freak show.

The city of Chernobyl hasn't had a steady population since the 1986 nuclear reactor incident, but the recent opening of the park has raised and steadied the population to a census estimated population of three.

"We want to forget the past," says the park's director Stephen Tunney, "which is why we built the park right on top of the old nuclear reactors!"