UnNews:Motorist hits moose, forgets collision

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Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother? UnNews Saturday, December 21, 2024, 14:21:59 (UTC)

Motorist hits moose, forgets collision UnNews Logo Potato.png
This is one of the.....is it moose? Or mooses? Maybe meese? I don't know.

16 May 2012

And here's some footage of the hate crime collision.

Newfoundland, Canada -- Yesterday, a woman who was driving to work (on the wrong side of the road) was hit by a moose. The moose brushed itself off and offered his insurance information, but for some odd reason, the woman, Cindy Paulson, kept driving.

"I don't know what happened," said the moose. "She just left. I couldn't keep up."

The woman arrived at her workplace with "many, many, cuts and

Here lies the moose. May he rest on cars.

bruises", said her fellow employee, Michelle Higgins. The moose disagreed. "It was a slight bump. I mean, I weigh 600 pounds, but I was walking. I just dented her hood a little"

However, Mrs. Paulson claimed that she didn't remember anything after the event.

"My leg is sprained. She probably shouldn't have been going 70 in a 35," said the moose. Many speculate that the woman was trying to avoid a lawsuit by "forgetting".

"There's no way she would've forgotten that. She drove there with a dented hood and a broken windshield. How do you not notice that?" said her husband. "I feel sorry for the moose."

The moose chose not to press charges. "It's just another day, right? People do crazy things."

The moose died from his injuries on May 16th, at 1:03 AM EST.

Sources[edit]