UnNews:Knights Templar sue Libyan al Qaeda over ink pen nuke

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Every time you think, you weaken the nation —Moe Howard UnNews Monday, April 22, 2024, 14:01:59 (UTC)

Knights Templar sue Libyan al Qaeda over ink pen nuke UnNews Logo Potato.png

4 August 2011

Head Quarters of NATO’s al Qaeda Rebel Alliance in Benghazi

LONDON, England -- The Knights Templar Christian terrorist organization, originally established in the early 12th century to counter-terrorize the Islamic counter-terrorism terrorists, has filed a civil lawsuit in London accusing al Qaeda of copyright infringement over a controversial ink pen nuke patent.

Originally founded by CFR operative Osama bin Laden, al Qaeda is a rag tag band of murderous villains headquartered in Benghazi, Libya. Although they now work for NATO, al Qaeda are still in the same business, viz., copyright infringement.

The latest case of culpable copyright violation is their threatened use of the so-called “Ink Pen Nuke.” The ink pen nuke (see diagram below) is a ballpoint pen disguised as a small nuclear device. It contains six grams of highly enriched uranium, which may be detonated simply by pushing down on the ink pen plunger.

Anders Breivik, a spokesperson for the Knights Templar, recently drew attention to the issue by murdering 76 hardcore communist youth in Norway. Breivik then laid out his conditions, which include a demand that North Korea, who developed the small tactical explosive for the Knights Templar, refrain from selling the patented device to the al Qaeda terrorist organization.

The death of Abdel Fateh Younes, late al Qaeda leader who was murdered, presumably by Knights Templar assassins, highlights the difficult question of who will pitch their Embassy tent in Paris on behalf of liberated Libya’s Libyans. Apparently Younes was the only rebel who could speak any language besides Pig Latin, and his death has left a strategic communication gap between the al Qaeda terrorists and their NATO commanders.

The globalist-elitist controlled mainstream media and their masters at the United Nations and Council of Foreign Relations have recently “down-graded” their assessment for a favorable outcome of the unprovoked and unmitigated attacks on Libya. Taken in literal context, the term “downgraded” simply means they were totally fucking wrong.

Design components of the disputed Ink Pen Nuke©

It is assumed that al Qaeda violated the Templar’s ink pen nuke copyright out of sheer desperation in the face of Moammar Gadhafi, who is goddamn pissed off over all the chaos and destruction of key Libyan strategic military targets such as toy stores, hospitals, civilian television stations, and the Great Man-Made River, many of which were destroyed or seriously damaged in over 6,000 costly and useless NATO air-raids.

The CIA-led al Qaeda rebels were stupidly hoping that deployment of the ink pen nukes could turn the tide of their defeat. But now that Anders Breivik of the Knights Templar has demanded that NATO rebels cease and desist from using the copyrighted and patented Ink Pen Nuke©, their probability of defeat seems a foregone conclusion.

In the likely case of Col. Gadhafi’s complete victory there will be four preplanned results:

  1. The formation of the African Union (AU)
  2. The formation of the Bank of Africa (BOA)
  3. The formation of the African Monetary Fund (AMF)
  4. Changing to the gold standard (African Dinar)

It should be noted that Libya, unlike the United States and EU, is completely debt free and with a huge national surplus. Every Libyan gets enough cash, free medical, food, fresh water, and shelter. The people are happy and contented – hence the displeasure and envy of the globalist elite along with their al Qaeda rebels and subservient mainstream media.

It seems to UnNews that rather than strive unsuccessfully to kill Gadhafi, the world’s intelligencia had better put him in charge of saving the global economy.


UnNews Logo Potato.png
This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.