UnNews:Holy fucking shit Michael Jackson is dead

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25 June 2009

Every Fucking Where - Michael Jackson, the rightfully named King of Fucking Pop. The greatest fucking singer in the whole goddamn world, is dead. He was 50.

He is fucking dead

You know how he fucking died? He didn't die trying to molest a little boy. He didn't die trying to asphyxiate a little boy. He fucking died from cardiac arrest or some shit. I don't even know what the fuck that is. I'm a reporter and shit but Jesus Christ, MJ is fucking dead, guys.

This is an end of a goddamn era. Don't fucking tell me otherwise. You can't deny him. He was the fucking king. And when a goddamn king dies, you get on your fucking knees and cry. You cry and you cry some more goddamn it. You stupid piece of shit. Michael Jackson is fucking dead.

Holy fucking shit.

And the worst part is a year ago I bought some tickets to his comeback tour that he was going to do in July. Goddamn it. These tickets were fucking expensive too.

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