UnNews:Guy Gets Crazy/Original, in all it's glory

UnNews:Guy Gets Crazy

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NEW YORK,Ny-There It Was.A Man Was Really Drunk And He Did Really Crazy Stunts.Reporters Say He Was Also On Crack.He Survied This Really Big Day But It Was Suicadel.

First Stunt

His First Stunt Was To Blast Himself Off A Canon To Mars.He Passed.But He Hit His Head On Mars But UnInjured.Police Say He Was A Crazy Basterd Doing This Stuff.The Warner Bros Decided They Should Get All They Can To Get This Crazy Basterd.He Was Running And Running Untill He Reached Ass, Italy.

Second Stunt

He Was Gonna Jump The Ass Tower.20 Stories High From The Sky.Cops Think This Would Be Suicidal.They Tried To Stop Him,But He Woulden't Listen.The Cops Could Not Go Fight.They Were To Pussy To Fight Him.Then He Jumped Off The Tower.No Way Of Stoping Him.He Was Falling And Falling.Untill He Reached The Ground.Then He Was Running Again But Back To New York.

Third Stunt

When He Reached New York He Was Gonna Ski Down The Empire State Bulding.Into The Smelly And Shitty Sewer.He Said To The Police "GO FUCK YOURSELFS! And Skied Down The Building To The Smelly And Shitty Sewer.But He Made A Mistake.He Landed In The Power Plant!But He Escaped.And The Power Plant Exploded.He Ran To The Bronx And The Police Loat Him.He Was So Happy That Hes So Exited Of Escaping The Police And Swat Team.

Arrest

He Was Arrested 2 Weeks Later.He Was Arrested When He Was Crapping In His Toilet And Reading The Newspaper.He Was Arrested For Only 8 Hours Only To Just Chill The Fuck Out.He Was Later Tooken Out Of Jail And Learnd A Big Lesson."Beers Suck Get Kool-Aid".As He Went To The Market To Get Kool-Aid Since He Was A Drunky.

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