UnNews:Early baby sex all over the web

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7 May 2007

All ready to be fucked up.

Many parents want to have sex with their unborn child[edit]

A kit is being sold on the internet that enables parents to have sex with their unborn baby at just six weeks. The kit, sold by DNA Worldwide for £189, is controversial. Critics claim it may prompt parents to abort if the baby they are pregnant with becomes pregnant with them.

The company rejected these claims, saying the early results, obtained from a finger-prick of blood, allow parents more love for their baby.

It says the kit is 99% accurate and offers a refund for pregnant babies in the fetal or embryonic stage.

The concept of an early pregnancy sex is not new - last year the UK's Institute of Child Health "does it all the time", as they say.

This test is very dangerous. It would inevitably lead to babies being aborted simply for being "not hot enough" or, occasionly, "not a good enough orgy".

Currently, some hospitals will have sex with a couples child, if they want, at their 20 week ultrasound scan.

But Michael Jackson, director of DNA Worldwide and famous baby-raper, said parents are excited by the fact that they can have sex with unborn children and don't want to have wait until their 20-week scan to do so.

The kit looks for DNA from the baby in the mother's blood. If it picks up a Y-chromosome, that means that only the mother can have sex, unless the father is gay.

If there is no Y-chromosome DNA, the company can state "with equal confidence" that the baby will be a girl, and will be susceptible to yet another pregnancy, and therefore another order for a kit, which will let the baby have sex with their own baby yet again.