UnNews:Dicks deem dick a dick

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Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother? UnNews Sunday, December 22, 2024, 01:03:59 (UTC)

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18 May 2011

Memorial erected in honor of the excused.

UNNEWSROOM, Uncyclopedia -- Dissed dictators at Uncyclopedia proved that it takes one to know one when a disagreeable dick was temporarily banned for behaving like a dick while discharging his editorial duties.

Disciplinarian Wiki-dicks actually deployed a Dictaphone to dispense with the dick after they decided un-unanimously that the dick’s dictatorship had to be dismantled when it was discovered he had been acting like a dickhead to other dicks and vaginas on the Wiki.

Honor and dishonor were heaped upon the unnamed dick after corrective dicks had done everything in their power to defang and correct the dick disproportionately, although both detractors and supporters of the dick unanimously agreed on the need for an editor to discharge necessary editorial duties without being even a little prick.

"The position of dictator at Unnews is different from other news disservices," said a spokesperson for Uncyclopedia recently. "Unnews will not tolerate dickheadedness in dictating to other dicks exactly what is news and what is UnNews." They said. "We don’t dig dicks because this job, however distasteful, does not require a dick – it requires a pussy!"

Accordingly, the guilty dick was banned for ten minutes, and the post was temporarily opened to other dicks provided they agree to total pussydom in the discharge of UnNews editorial duties.

In other developments, limp-dick reporter, Funnybony, who was on absence of leave, returned to his outpost after swearing on a stack of dictionaries not to be a dick in the further discharge of disseminating UnNews to dicks around the globe.

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This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.