UnNews:Dead Sea Scrolls reveal advice

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
UnFair and UnBalanced ✪ UnNews ✪ Monday, February 2, 2026, 01:58:59 (UTC)
Dead Sea Scrolls reveal advice UnNews Logo Potato.png

17 May 2006

“How can you get useful information from a DEAD Sea Scroll?”

~ Alfred E. Neuman on The Scriptures

ISRAEL -- Last week, in a surpising announcement, the International Commission to Translate the Dead Sea Scrolls revealed that it had translated an entire section, using altavista's "babel-fish" function.

That section, now called the "Lost Proverbs", has been released to the press for inspection. The team of translators is still confused as to why these proverbs were hidden. Also, there are no indicators who the advice is for.

One translator said, "yeah, we sat around with it for months, and we couldn't figure out who was giving advice to whom. So we said screw it, lets publish what we have..."

UnNews has been given the initial exclusive to the new list of proverbs. As a note of caution, the translation team warns that each individual might interpret the list differently. Here are the 43 Lost Proverbs, use them wisely:


The 43 Lost Proverbs[edit]

  1. To riot a memo, is to riot affably
  2. To riot a memo, is to riot affably
  3. To riot a memo, is to riot affably
  4. To riot a memo, is to riot affably
  5. To riot a memo, is to riot affably
  6. To riot a memo, is to riot affably
  7. To riot a memo, is to riot affably
  8. To riot a memo, is to riot affably
  9. To riot a memo, is to riot affably
  10. To riot a memo, is to riot affably
  11. To riot a memo, is to riot affably
  12. To riot a memo, is to riot affably
  13. To riot a memo, is to riot affably
  14. To riot a memo, is to riot affably
  15. To riot a memo, is to riot affably
  16. To riot a memo, is to riot affably
  17. To riot a memo, is to riot affably
  18. To riot a memo, is to riot affably
  19. To riot a memo, is to riot affably
  20. To riot a memo, is to riot affably
  21. To riot a memo, is to riot affably
  22. To riot a memo, is to riot affably
  23. To riot a memo, is to riot affably
  24. To riot a memo, is to riot affably
  25. To riot a memo, is to riot affably
  26. To riot a memo, is to riot affably
  27. To riot a memo, is to riot affably
  28. To riot a memo, is to riot affably
  29. To riot a memo, is to riot affably
  30. To riot a memo, is to riot affably
  31. To riot a memo, is to riot affably
  32. To riot a memo, is to riot affably
  33. To riot a memo, is to riot affably
  34. To riot a memo, is to riot affably
  35. To riot a memo, is to riot affably
  36. To riot a memo, is to riot affably
  37. To riot a memo, is to riot affably
  38. To riot a memo, is to riot affably
  39. To riot a memo, is to riot affably
  40. To riot a memo, is to riot affably
  41. To riot a memo, is to riot affably
  42. To riot a memo, is to riot {{adv})
  43. Gordon Brown is a real peach.

Sources[edit]

  • the International Commission to Translate the Dead Sea Scrolls

Notes[edit]

We're still trying to find the segment that contains the instructions on how to build giant angst-powered mechs.

Retrieved from "https://uncyclopedia.com/w/index.php?title=UnNews:Dead_Sea_Scrolls_reveal_advice&oldid=6187983"