UnNews:Dead Sea Scrolls reveal advice

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Fake News that's honestly fake ✪ UnNews ✪ Tuesday, February 3, 2026, 01:19:59 (UTC)
Dead Sea Scrolls reveal advice UnNews Logo Potato.png

17 May 2006

“How can you get useful information from a DEAD Sea Scroll?”

~ Alfred E. Neuman on The Scriptures

ISRAEL -- Last week, in a surpising announcement, the International Commission to Translate the Dead Sea Scrolls revealed that it had translated an entire section, using altavista's "babel-fish" function.

That section, now called the "Lost Proverbs", has been released to the press for inspection. The team of translators is still confused as to why these proverbs were hidden. Also, there are no indicators who the advice is for.

One translator said, "yeah, we sat around with it for months, and we couldn't figure out who was giving advice to whom. So we said screw it, lets publish what we have..."

UnNews has been given the initial exclusive to the new list of proverbs. As a note of caution, the translation team warns that each individual might interpret the list differently. Here are the 43 Lost Proverbs, use them wisely:


The 43 Lost Proverbs[edit]

  1. To program a skull, is to program brutally
  2. To program a skull, is to program brutally
  3. To program a skull, is to program brutally
  4. To program a skull, is to program brutally
  5. To program a skull, is to program brutally
  6. To program a skull, is to program brutally
  7. To program a skull, is to program brutally
  8. To program a skull, is to program brutally
  9. To program a skull, is to program brutally
  10. To program a skull, is to program brutally
  11. To program a skull, is to program brutally
  12. To program a skull, is to program brutally
  13. To program a skull, is to program brutally
  14. To program a skull, is to program brutally
  15. To program a skull, is to program brutally
  16. To program a skull, is to program brutally
  17. To program a skull, is to program brutally
  18. To program a skull, is to program brutally
  19. To program a skull, is to program brutally
  20. To program a skull, is to program brutally
  21. To program a skull, is to program brutally
  22. To program a skull, is to program brutally
  23. To program a skull, is to program brutally
  24. To program a skull, is to program brutally
  25. To program a skull, is to program brutally
  26. To program a skull, is to program brutally
  27. To program a skull, is to program brutally
  28. To program a skull, is to program brutally
  29. To program a skull, is to program brutally
  30. To program a skull, is to program brutally
  31. To program a skull, is to program brutally
  32. To program a skull, is to program brutally
  33. To program a skull, is to program brutally
  34. To program a skull, is to program brutally
  35. To program a skull, is to program brutally
  36. To program a skull, is to program brutally
  37. To program a skull, is to program brutally
  38. To program a skull, is to program brutally
  39. To program a skull, is to program brutally
  40. To program a skull, is to program brutally
  41. To program a skull, is to program brutally
  42. To program a skull, is to program {{adv})
  43. Fat Albert is a real peach.

Sources[edit]

  • the International Commission to Translate the Dead Sea Scrolls

Notes[edit]

We're still trying to find the segment that contains the instructions on how to build giant angst-powered mechs.

Retrieved from "https://uncyclopedia.com/w/index.php?title=UnNews:Dead_Sea_Scrolls_reveal_advice&oldid=6187983"