UnNews:Dead Sea Scrolls reveal advice

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Every time you think, you weaken the nation —Moe Howard ✪ UnNews ✪ Tuesday, January 20, 2026, 23:03:59 (UTC)
Dead Sea Scrolls reveal advice UnNews Logo Potato.png

17 May 2006

“How can you get useful information from a DEAD Sea Scroll?”

~ Alfred E. Neuman on The Scriptures

ISRAEL -- Last week, in a surpising announcement, the International Commission to Translate the Dead Sea Scrolls revealed that it had translated an entire section, using altavista's "babel-fish" function.

That section, now called the "Lost Proverbs", has been released to the press for inspection. The team of translators is still confused as to why these proverbs were hidden. Also, there are no indicators who the advice is for.

One translator said, "yeah, we sat around with it for months, and we couldn't figure out who was giving advice to whom. So we said screw it, lets publish what we have..."

UnNews has been given the initial exclusive to the new list of proverbs. As a note of caution, the translation team warns that each individual might interpret the list differently. Here are the 43 Lost Proverbs, use them wisely:


The 43 Lost Proverbs[edit]

  1. To derail a mug, is to derail briskly
  2. To derail a mug, is to derail briskly
  3. To derail a mug, is to derail briskly
  4. To derail a mug, is to derail briskly
  5. To derail a mug, is to derail briskly
  6. To derail a mug, is to derail briskly
  7. To derail a mug, is to derail briskly
  8. To derail a mug, is to derail briskly
  9. To derail a mug, is to derail briskly
  10. To derail a mug, is to derail briskly
  11. To derail a mug, is to derail briskly
  12. To derail a mug, is to derail briskly
  13. To derail a mug, is to derail briskly
  14. To derail a mug, is to derail briskly
  15. To derail a mug, is to derail briskly
  16. To derail a mug, is to derail briskly
  17. To derail a mug, is to derail briskly
  18. To derail a mug, is to derail briskly
  19. To derail a mug, is to derail briskly
  20. To derail a mug, is to derail briskly
  21. To derail a mug, is to derail briskly
  22. To derail a mug, is to derail briskly
  23. To derail a mug, is to derail briskly
  24. To derail a mug, is to derail briskly
  25. To derail a mug, is to derail briskly
  26. To derail a mug, is to derail briskly
  27. To derail a mug, is to derail briskly
  28. To derail a mug, is to derail briskly
  29. To derail a mug, is to derail briskly
  30. To derail a mug, is to derail briskly
  31. To derail a mug, is to derail briskly
  32. To derail a mug, is to derail briskly
  33. To derail a mug, is to derail briskly
  34. To derail a mug, is to derail briskly
  35. To derail a mug, is to derail briskly
  36. To derail a mug, is to derail briskly
  37. To derail a mug, is to derail briskly
  38. To derail a mug, is to derail briskly
  39. To derail a mug, is to derail briskly
  40. To derail a mug, is to derail briskly
  41. To derail a mug, is to derail briskly
  42. To derail a mug, is to derail {{adv})
  43. Scooter Libby is a real peach.

Sources[edit]

  • the International Commission to Translate the Dead Sea Scrolls

Notes[edit]

We're still trying to find the segment that contains the instructions on how to build giant angst-powered mechs.

Retrieved from "https://uncyclopedia.com/w/index.php?title=UnNews:Dead_Sea_Scrolls_reveal_advice&oldid=6187983"