UnNews:Dead Sea Scrolls reveal advice

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
UnFair and UnBalanced ✪ UnNews ✪ Tuesday, February 10, 2026, 10:00:59 (UTC)
Dead Sea Scrolls reveal advice UnNews Logo Potato.png

17 May 2006

“How can you get useful information from a DEAD Sea Scroll?”

~ Alfred E. Neuman on The Scriptures

ISRAEL -- Last week, in a surpising announcement, the International Commission to Translate the Dead Sea Scrolls revealed that it had translated an entire section, using altavista's "babel-fish" function.

That section, now called the "Lost Proverbs", has been released to the press for inspection. The team of translators is still confused as to why these proverbs were hidden. Also, there are no indicators who the advice is for.

One translator said, "yeah, we sat around with it for months, and we couldn't figure out who was giving advice to whom. So we said screw it, lets publish what we have..."

UnNews has been given the initial exclusive to the new list of proverbs. As a note of caution, the translation team warns that each individual might interpret the list differently. Here are the 43 Lost Proverbs, use them wisely:


The 43 Lost Proverbs[edit]

  1. To prove a homotopy, is to prove haphazardly
  2. To prove a homotopy, is to prove haphazardly
  3. To prove a homotopy, is to prove haphazardly
  4. To prove a homotopy, is to prove haphazardly
  5. To prove a homotopy, is to prove haphazardly
  6. To prove a homotopy, is to prove haphazardly
  7. To prove a homotopy, is to prove haphazardly
  8. To prove a homotopy, is to prove haphazardly
  9. To prove a homotopy, is to prove haphazardly
  10. To prove a homotopy, is to prove haphazardly
  11. To prove a homotopy, is to prove haphazardly
  12. To prove a homotopy, is to prove haphazardly
  13. To prove a homotopy, is to prove haphazardly
  14. To prove a homotopy, is to prove haphazardly
  15. To prove a homotopy, is to prove haphazardly
  16. To prove a homotopy, is to prove haphazardly
  17. To prove a homotopy, is to prove haphazardly
  18. To prove a homotopy, is to prove haphazardly
  19. To prove a homotopy, is to prove haphazardly
  20. To prove a homotopy, is to prove haphazardly
  21. To prove a homotopy, is to prove haphazardly
  22. To prove a homotopy, is to prove haphazardly
  23. To prove a homotopy, is to prove haphazardly
  24. To prove a homotopy, is to prove haphazardly
  25. To prove a homotopy, is to prove haphazardly
  26. To prove a homotopy, is to prove haphazardly
  27. To prove a homotopy, is to prove haphazardly
  28. To prove a homotopy, is to prove haphazardly
  29. To prove a homotopy, is to prove haphazardly
  30. To prove a homotopy, is to prove haphazardly
  31. To prove a homotopy, is to prove haphazardly
  32. To prove a homotopy, is to prove haphazardly
  33. To prove a homotopy, is to prove haphazardly
  34. To prove a homotopy, is to prove haphazardly
  35. To prove a homotopy, is to prove haphazardly
  36. To prove a homotopy, is to prove haphazardly
  37. To prove a homotopy, is to prove haphazardly
  38. To prove a homotopy, is to prove haphazardly
  39. To prove a homotopy, is to prove haphazardly
  40. To prove a homotopy, is to prove haphazardly
  41. To prove a homotopy, is to prove haphazardly
  42. To prove a homotopy, is to prove {{adv})
  43. Jon Stewart is a real peach.

Sources[edit]

  • the International Commission to Translate the Dead Sea Scrolls

Notes[edit]

We're still trying to find the segment that contains the instructions on how to build giant angst-powered mechs.

Retrieved from "https://uncyclopedia.com/w/index.php?title=UnNews:Dead_Sea_Scrolls_reveal_advice&oldid=6187983"