UnNews:Australia Declares War On Antarctica, Carrot Juice

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We distort, you deride ✪ UnNews ✪ Sunday, December 22, 2024, 08:05:59 (UTC)
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2 August 2006

SYDNEY, Australia - In a truly insanely shocking move, Australia declared war on Antarctica, and in a completely unrelated move, declared war on Carrot Juice. When asked about Australia's motivation, President of Lawn Bowls, John Howard cited, "Those Damn Penguins!"

George Bush was unavailable to comment, but probably just mumbled a few words that sounded like, "That lamppost is stalking me."

Jesus has been quoted as saying "The" but it is yet to be confirmed.

This morning, Australia's forces, consisting of a dead rabbit and Steve Irwin armed with a pointy stick, moved over the border of Antarctica, and in an outbreak of violence, attacked and destroyed some ice, and shipped back the survivors. They were shipped in a glass of coke for my dad. This was not without casualties to Australia, and the dead rabbit was found pointy-sticked to death. The government blamed a rouge bunny armed with Carrot Juice, and thusly, declared war on that.

Sources say nothing, as cheese can't talk.

Sources[edit]

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