UnNews:A miracle for Donald Trump
| Straight talk, from straight faces | ✪ | UnNews | ✪ | Monday, December 23, 2024, 02:25:59 (UTC) |
| A miracle for Donald Trump | 
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15 November 2020
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Kayleigh McEnany, already famous for telling the American people that they didn't do what they did and vice versa, has advanced the cause of making America a monarchy again by performing a miracle. At today's press conference, she has deftly fielded questions about the recent Million MAGA (Make America Grovel Again) march in Washington, D.C.
UnNews: "Ms McEnany, you have stated that a million people attended the MAGA march in Washington, but accounts from those present report that only around 5000 people actually turned up."
KM: "This is because the media is unwilling to accept President Trump's overwhelming popularity among the American people. It is clear from the number of anti-Trump protesters loafing around that there was something fishy going on in the recent fake election. Our estimates of the size of the crowd are being revised upward as we speak."
UnNews: "The pictures that you have presented as evidence of the numbers have been examined by experts in image analysis who report that each person in the crowd appears about 200 times. While this does total to about a million, we find it hard to accept that this is a valid reconstruction of the event."
KM: "Very simple if you have the intelligence to think about it. For every Trump supporter who turned up, a large number were unable to make it. Look at all those people who have died from COVID-19 in some states like Texas, where it has been spread by Democrats. Every one of those people would have voted for President Trump if they hadn't been dead, just like all the dead people who voted for Sleepy Joe."
UnNews: "The evidence for claims of dead people voting is pretty thin on the ground, a bit like the actual crowd at the MAGA march."
KM: "Please don't interrupt. As almost a quarter of a million Americans have died of COVID-19 and the popular vote was only won by under six million, that means that things could have turned out quite differently if only a few million Democrats had died. Particularly in those districts where the vote was very close."
UnNews: "So you're saying that if the U.S.A. had not had the devastating impact of COVID-19 that is still occurring, President Trump would have won the election?"
KM: "Of course, but we're not conceding anything. The real problem is the conspiracy of people who don't like President Trump accepting every bit of fake news that supports the fact that they don't like him. If all these people were actually convinced that they do like President Trump, the election would have been a landslide. We're just trying to account for all those virtual Trump supporters that didn't realize their mistake in time."
UnNews: "If I understand you correctly, you're saying that a majority of people don't like President Trump but that they should be counted as supporters?"
KM: "I think you are finally getting the idea. We are searching for the millions of Trump supporters who have changed their minds since the fake election and demanding that the certification of the results be delayed until we find them."
UnNews: "Thank you, Ms McEnany and you are obviously hoping for a another miracle."
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This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent. |
Category:North America