The 50/50 Rule

This Gorilla has a 50/50 chance of either being totally ugly, or just being mentally retarded.

The 50/50 rule states that everything has a fifty percent chance of either working in a person's favour or not. Unfortunately, this applies to everyone BUT you, who has a 100% percent chance of bad luck, and who's life has been, and will continue to be, miserable for the rest of eternity. It is therefore used but the PFP (People For Pessimism) as their life motto.

Orgin of the 50/50 rule

You have a 50% chance of being eaten by a grue and a 50% chance of being eaten by a Xenomorph. Since that makes 100%, your chance of survival is null.

The 50/50 rule, also known as Zoidal's Law, was discovered in 1897 B.C, by the greatest thinker of mankind, Old man Cedric.

Artist's rendering of Old Man Cedric

Being the notorious criminal he was, Cedric found himself in jail quite often in his senile years. While rotting in his cell, he often told his cell mate that neither of them was actually there. Embedded journalist Clark Kent successfully died during an attempt to record such a session and was then fired for major incompetence.

Applications of the 50/50 rule

The 50/50 rule has been used repeatedly in the sciences, including Haemotolotherapy, Amalgamation, Gastropodulatory Science and, most notably, in Cake Baking.