Talk:Global warming/Archive1

This is an archive of "Talk:Global warming".

Comment

This is a really stupendous article. --Anonymous This article is absolutly appoling!! I found it very rude. It is making a joke about global warming. People can have their own opinions about it but this was just uncalled for!!! We are not a bunch of liberal hippies, we just know the truth and arent afraid to admit it, unlike some people who run and hide form it, we look it in the face and try to make a difference! get oover yourself and face the music! We are to blaim and we need to act before its too late. hell it may already be too late but we cant just sit back and do nothing, Be kind to the earth and it will be kind to you. Recycle Reuse Eat local Eat organic/Grow your own Cut out Meat, not always but sometimes Use natural Products Walk/ride your bike, at least one day a week Bring your own bags to the grocery store THINK!CARE!HAVE AND OPEN MIND.

This article is a parody of people who think global warming is some sort of hoax. A PARODY. I believe in global warming myself, and am not a liberal hippie. Well, maybe I am a little. --THE 19:13, 16 April 2008 (UTC)

Correct!

This whole article is delicious!

Sure it is, Mr. Bush.

This article lacks humour

It also lacks intelligence

Is this article written by Al Gore or something?

No, John Kerry wrote it

This article looks like it came straight out of the Daily KOS, so therefore unfunny to the more mentally stable among us, namely Republicans.

Just a suggestion if you're writing for entertainment purposes

Try to tone down the politicio-sexual innuendo. It makes the youngsters eyes bleed. And those of good writers that actually care about the viewer's enjoyment.

Agreement idea for War on Terra

The way I see it, this is the War on Terra's equivalent to torture. Think about it: it's denied by many to exist (at least in a widespread sense), and some even say that if it does, it has potential benefits to society (torture provides information that can save lives, global warming means that we will only ever have nice weather). I'll start an approach this way as soon as I figure out how it should be done, but I'm just throwing that out if someone else thinks of a way to do this. (It's tricky, because I don't think it would be enough to simply say "this is like torture, get it?" That would likely be an instance of joke explanation.) —Lenoxus 23:51, 18 February 2007 (UTC)

This article needs some major work

Many of the sections of this article aren't funny at all, they're just stupid rants. Examples: "Ice Shelfs break apart, caused by eco-terrorists" not funny, just dumb and ignorant. This sort of thing makes my head hurt.

"Al Gore and the liberal hippies disagree and call everyone carbon hogs and use scare tactics and guilt to force them to buy Al Gore's carbon credits. Gore claims that one can reduce the amount of CO2 one breathes out and pollutes with SUVs by buying enough carbon credits from him, kind of like Dungeons and Dragons." again, this is not funny, just moronic, incoherent ranting.

"By the time all the idiotic liberals of the world come to a decision about what to do we will be dead. So who cares anymore? You can have a hot summer holiday without having to go abroad and wear T-shirts and jeans to work. Life couldn't get any better" more stupid ranting.

If someone else doesn't work on fixing up this article some, I will, unless I don't feel like it or I just forget. But somebody PLEASE add something redeeming to this article because right now it is a mess. --THE 23:53, 6 June 2007 (UTC)

Uh...okay. Nobody has responded to my extensive whining, so I take it that that means nobody would object if I put this on my mental list of articles to screw around with. --THE 23:41, 18 June 2007 (UTC)

I originally wrote this article a long time ago but it was invaded by the masses and vandalized to a point that I couldn't recognize it anymore. There are parts of the article that are funny but too many people want to add stuff and it ruins the article. --Uncle J 03:26, 18 July 2007 (UTC)

Maybe I'll fix it one of these days but the article will have to be at least semi-locked to protect against the constant additions, deletions, and other vandalism. --Uncle J 03:28, 18 July 2007 (UTC)

okay, let me know when and if you decide to rewrite it, or at least refurbish it, so I can throw my two cents in too. --THE 11:06, 18 July 2007 (UTC)

I may revert it back to an earlier version but I want to include funny shit that was added. The problem is that it is mixed in with too much bullshit --Uncle J 13:39, 18 July 2007 (UTC)

Ok I rolled it back to the February 1st version and added some funny stuff in that was added later. Feel free to add what you want --Uncle J 13:59, 18 July 2007 (UTC)

Mmmmm...what's with all the "tree hugging hippie liberals" stuff? Not particularly amusing................................anywho I'll re-add the "video game" section, which I kinda like.....though that may be because I wrote it...and I'll probably add some more stuff later on. The "mad liberal treehugger" stuff will probably go bye-bye if I edit it, though...maybe. What angle is this article going for, here? This version I still don't particularly like, it still seems really...ranty. Is it trying to satirize anti-global warming arguments? --THE 16:33, 18 July 2007 (UTC)

I thought it was pretty funny, thats the way Republicans talk, anyways add whatever you want --Uncle J 00:05, 19 July 2007 (UTC)

Ah, I see...yeah, I figured it might be a parody of the conservative view on global warming. I'll add some more to it to make that a bit more obvious so people...um...like me won't mistake it for a genuine conservative rant. I should be getting around to editing this shortly. --THE 14:54, 19 July 2007 (UTC)

Well I added some stuff to it, making the parody more obvious as well as making the individual who's writing the article seem like more of a jackass. --THE 15:35, 19 July 2007

U know what? THE? U need to find something better to do. There are many people out there who think that Global warming is just a scare tactics created by Democrats just like Republicans use war to soothe the crowd. Just learn to take a joke once in a while will you? If you wanna state bunch of hippie crap, go to wikipedia and write your supposedly "professional" opinions with no sense of humor. This is Uncyclopedia, and I say it's supposed to be funny. So F*** OFF --whsskdhkf

Notice that the article is a parody of something, indicating that it indeed does contain humor. Thanks for the positive input though. --THE 11:55, 13 November 2007 (UTC)

So true!

It is obvious that global warming is a myth, being very conservative (but independent).

      Signed, the Independent Conservative from New England

funny article

This article is actually funny.. but seriously we can see the effects of global warming.. (mass extinction, disappearances of rivers and lakes, superstorms etc)

I know. The article is parodying the stupidity of people who pretend not to notice. --THE 21:51, 15 September 2007 (UTC)

Oh groan. I thought this was a refuge from the moron's who are so far up their own middle-class sphincters they believe they know how terrible things are. So this is just 'funny' spin on the same shit? User:badcop666

Yes it is funny. That is result of Bokito. Funny Frisian Bastard From Friesland 15:36, 21 September 2007 (UTC)

It is not a bit funny. All it is is a rant against those who refuse to stop using SUV's and don't want to kill all their cows. Plus, half the claims you put down as supposedly by Republicans are completely, disgustingly inaccurate. Everyone, even Conservatives, know the sun exists, not an "unknown energy source". So, the stupidity is yours. And how can you even parody the "stupidity" of people who "pretend not to notice" this when we have an even greater Armageddon disaster impending that you stinkin' liberals don't want to notice?? Get out of the warm lake and find something more serious to be worried about. 4.158.192.134 03:32, 27 October 2007 (UTC)

Why don't you get out of the warm lake and stop obsessing about an article on the internet? It is not the sun that's causing global warming. Global warming isn't a myth invented by "stinkin' liberals," it is a scientific conclusion supported by evidence that's been continuing to build for years. And it isn't a rant, it is a satire of the conservative view on global warming, that is, believing it is somehow "fake," despite the fact that human beings have increased the amount of co2 in the atmosphere, co2 does cause increases in temperature, and the earth's temperature has been increasing regularly. It is a parody of the conservative views on global warming, therefore it is not a rant. There are plenty of conservative-oriented articles on this site that are funny, such as this one, to name one example. Even the version you are reverting to was intended as a parody of the conservative view on global warming. I saw that this article wasn't particularly funny, so I rewrote it. On uncyclopedia, it doesn't matter what political orientation an article is, as long as it is funny. It is your version that is a humorless rant. It parodies nothing, it contains no jokes of any sort, it merely raves against global warming in a blatantly obvious way. A liberal equivalent would look like this: "Global warming is a scientific fact that, like all other instances in the past where scientists have been disagreed with by citizens, or big businesses (i.e. cigarettes, DDT), is true. Nobody can deny that global warming exists, and that human beings cause it, and if we don't act to combat it now, it will have serious consequences." But that would be completely unnaceptable for uncyclopedia, because it contains no HUMOR. It does not belong on uncyclopedia, just like the version you keep reverting to does not belong on uncyclopedia. If you continue to revert it to the old version, you'll most likely end up banned, just like this guy was. --THE 16:42, 27 October 2007 (UTC)

The other version was the same as this one, a parody of the idea that global warming is caused by humans. It said things like "global warming will kill us all within the next 50 years," parodying the liberals who think that we'll all be dead soon because of a natural rise in global temperature. This one is a rant, because no one called it a "STUPID theory invented by a bunch of liberal hippies," even AiG agrees to global warming!!! We just don't think that humans are doing it all. Come to think of it, neither do you liberals, you think cows are doing a lot of it! 4.158.60.64 15:28, 31 October 2007 (UTC)

Well, the purpose of uncyclopedia is to be funny, and this version is a satire that is more consistently humorous and generally more parody-esque than the old one, which was mostly filled with random humor, aside from the section about the weather channel which had a decent concept (you can go ahead and re-add that one if you want, with a little work it would blend in with the rest of the article nicely). But other than that, the old one was disorganised and generally unfunny, which is why I rewrote it. As I said before, it doesn't matter if an article is conservative or liberal, as long as it's funny. But by all means, re-add the weather channel part. --THE 22:52, 31 October 2007 (UTC)

A bit new content

Added Hoax and Lies to See also.

Wow...

Three things:

One: To all of you flaming liberals, here are four words you really need to learn really, really well. This. Is. A. Joke. UNDERSTAND? lmao, it's amazing how pissed off people get over jokes.

Two: Oh wait! THAT'S why they're all pissed off. Because this is awesomely, hilariously, and incredibly TRUE!!! There are SO MANY reasons why Global Warming is complete bullshit. Oh and btw, to all of you al gore worshipers... you do realize his movie about global warming, An Inconvenient Truth, has 11 fundamental falsehoods. That's eleven. Oh and those are FUNDAMENTAL falsehoods, meaning its not like he says 'its 9:30 at night' when its really 6:00. No, these are falsehoods that the whole idea of global warming is built on. For example. What gas is causing global warming? Carbon Dioxide, right? CO2, right? You mean the gas EVERY SINGLE ANIMAL exhales? And EVERY SINGLE PLANT needs for life? Oh and also, there are numbers recorded showing that there have been times when temperatures were high and CO2 was low, vise versa, both were high, AND both were low, so they are COMPLETELY UNRELATED! *gasp!* Imagine that! Also, the average global temperature has cycles. I forgot the exact number of years before it repeats, but it is based on irregularities in our orbit and solar activity. As of now, we are in a MINI ICE AGE. Meaning, the earth is SUPPOSED to warm up now! Hear that? SUPPOSED TO!!!!

Three: Oh yeah, guess I should comment on the article, right? How about this: This article = Epic win. That about sums it up I think.

Ok, i'm done rambling. Go post your flaming-me posts. Don't get too excited though, i'll never see them.

Well... maybe I will, but if someone does post me, I just want you to know I have plenty more info on why Global warming is the most well known piece of bullshit there is.

Its a very strange time we live in when joking about global warming is 'uncalled for'...on Uncyclopedia of all places. Seriously guys??? Get a clue.

Not funny just stupid

It's just not funny, needs alot of work...so I changed the first section in the name of humor.

The origional was:

Global warming, also known as International House Warming, is a STUPID theory by a bunch of tree-hugging liberal hippies that states unless we go back and live in caves, the polar ice caps will melt and life as we know it will cease to exist. This theory comes from a bunch of idiotic scientists who really have no clue what they're talking about...after all, they're only scientists, who ever wants to listen to them? I mean sure, I admit they were right about the world being round...and the planets going around the sun... and lightning being caused by opposite charges between the earth and the sky, not Zeus...and worms and rats not appearing out of nowhere...and stars being balls of gas burning millions of miles away, not holes in heaven...and the brain being the center of the nervous system, not the heart...and lead poisoning being able to kill you...and cigarettes being bad for you, and everything else ever discovered or invented, but still! They're wrong! They're all a bunch of liberal crackpots who have a political agenda, so who wants to listen to them? It is almost exclusively believed by left wing bleeding-heart Democrats who are influenced by rich environmental lobby groups and opposed to the economy and anyone with a job. One of these bleeding heart socialist Democrats, Al Gore, has made a propaganda video regarding global warming entitled An Inconvenient Truth which uses heartless fear-mongering, and all kinds of heartless, cruel, un-American facts in an attempt to get people to consume less and sabotage the American economy, culminating in Ford going out of business, which will mean that the terrorists will win. Liars would never use this type of fear mongering for political gain, never! So stop criticizing us, after all, you don't want the terrorists to come get you, right? These global warming people are the same tree hugging hippies that said DDT was bad for the environment back in the 70s and 80s! Fuckin' hippies!

It was just too politically slanted and just not funny so I changed it to this:

Global warming, also known as International House Warming, is a theory allegedly created by a group of pot smoking tree-hugging liberals (hippies) which states that unless humans return to a life balanced with nature (i.e. living in caves) the polar ice caps will melt and life as it's known today will cease to exist in the biblical flood of 1985. This theory has been popularized by a large group of celebrities, scientist and wholly honest politicians mostly consisting of Al Gore the first. Individuals with great a great list of accomplishments from the invention of the Internet to saving humanity from the ozone hole. Despite tremendous support from liberal crackpots, Hollywood communists scientist and prophet Gore right wingers continue to insist the entire theory is nothing more than a scam created by people with political agendas, and corporations with finical agendas. Although most of the so called believers are left wing potheads many right winger after realizing the profit potential have joined the crusade to stop Global Warming, though they still maintain the Earth is a flat disc in the middle of the universe. Today Global Warming is accepted as a fact by almost everyone but for a few holdouts who for reasons unknown insist that it is either not real or not man made. These individuals are typically exposed as oil company cronies or taken into the back room and corrected.

The main cause of Global Waring is said to be emissions of the highly poisonous and destructive gas Carbon monoxide which is emitted largely by cars, airplanes, buses, trucks, volcanoes, nuclear power plants and drunken hippies singing at anti-capitalist rallies, the latter of which accounts for at least 59.9% of all emissions. Currently most countries accept Global Warming as a threat to life and are working to actively solve the crisis the only exception to this is the president of Czechoslovakia and Hitler worshiper Vaclav Klaus who claims Global Warming is a a Giant Octopus with unicorn breasts and has created a carbon emissions program with the goal of doubling the current carbon levels by 2230. This has would be expected has angered Al Gore who has since called for Klaus' head on a silver platter so he can eat it. While individuals such as Klaus continues to deny the existence of Global Warming and work to make the problem worst others such as the Chinese are working hard to curb the problem by increasing the number of coal plants and feeding babies lead tainted milk. While other nations such as the E.U., Britain, Mexico and Papua New Guinea have raised gas taxes in an effort to reduce demand. But the most ambitious effort has been undertaken by the USSR who have vowed to bomb the shit out of countries with non-soviet owned pipelines, an ambitious plan praised by many such a USSA house speaker Nancy and Al Gore who commented “The Russians are setting a good example with their use of carbon neutral bombs...now blow me.”

It's not that good but still better than what was there before...--Kingkelvin 22:28, 9 October 2008 (UTC)

Needs a Nukin'

This article needs to be blanked, and unless somebody can give me a reason here within a few days, I'm gonna go ahead and do it.

The thing is, it's gotten the the point where it resembles neither Wikipedia nor Uncyclopedia. It's just obtuse, obscene, and lame. The point of Uncyclopedia is to be slyly satirical while resembling Wikipedia so that you only realize the article's a joke when you hit the punchlines. It's funny that way. The way the article is now, it looks like some anti-global-warmist's Livejournal, complete with more Al Gore than I care to contemplate.

So here's my big idea, to make this the first line of the article:

Global warming is the nickname given to an ongoing world effort to counteract the effects of global cooling though a variety of methods devised by scientists and propagated by entrepeneurs.

And go from there. It's more like old-school Uncyclopedia...you know, back when this site was funny, before all of 4chan found it. —The preceding unsigned comment was added by Ausare (talk • contribs)

Hey man, go for it. It might be a good idea to start a rewrite in a userspace subpage (ie: User:Ausare/Global Warming) so you don't wind up with a half-finished page in the mainspace. Whatever you do, though, good luck with it. Cheers, - T.L.B. WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 03:05, Feb 20

Global warming is not real!

—Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 19:00, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

And neither is Al Gore -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 22:41, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

Seriously, Global warming isn't real, the earth's temperature has been constant since 2002. --Mnb'z 05:20, 17 March 2009 (UTC)

Absolutely agree. --Dadadudi 22:17, 17 March 2009 (UTC)