Surfer Donkey

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Surfer Donkey dude...riding the wave...catchin' the curl...alright...

The surfer donkey are large mammals, members of the Surfisthus family, which are found primarily along coastal areas. Unlike their working cousins, the Jackasses, surfer donkeys are often viewed as idiots, burnouts and slackers because they'd rather hang four than work.

Despite their moves on the waves, the surfer donkey remains relatively motionless while on its board; they rather have their boards to skim the water in a "devil may care" fashion. This philosophy often puts them on bad odds with nature as their center of gravity is relatively high. This problem however is compensated by their slothlike moves that somehow make up for their lack of style.

Physical characteristics[edit]

Dude, you are such a Thrasher!

Surfer donkeys are very similar to your regular farmland donkey; the only difference between them is the custom computer designed surf board that the surfer donkeys utilize.

Like the Jackass, surfer donkeys are very unmotivated, however they are much more mellow, and are less likely to kick you if you piss them off. As their farmland counterpart, they have large ears, thin legs and a long tail, pretty much like most Albanian women.

The surfer donkey's skin is hard and full of hair, which is usually Brown, black, and gray. Occassionally one can spot a yellow or orange surfer donkey. This unique coloring is generally related to a bad reaction to SunIn tanning products. Their eyes are generally black or brown, but many surfer donkeys use contact lenses, with blue or green color because they think chicks really dig that beachcomer look. Of course, this when their eyes can be seen, as usually they wear sunglasses (and how they manage to do it is a mystery yet to be revealed, since their ears, like your mother's, are on top of their heads).

Food and foraging[edit]

Surfer donkeys are vegans and love a diet of rich in grazing grass, weed, hemp, hash and other things like Funions, Chessy Puffs and Ho Ho's. On occasion they will partake of the sushi and poo poo platter specials at local Japanese Steak Houses, but they abhor Chinese food (too starchy) and bray at the idea of eating British cuisine.


He nice, the surfer donkey

While they are normally innapt for formal education, surfer donkeys do have a natural sense of the world. For example, they normally find out several days in advance about an incomming tsunami, how to schedule a flight in a casual manner, scan the horizon and know when to paddle out for a bitchin' ride, dude.

However if one were to ask them to count their age by tapping their hoves on the ground, the more likely reaction would be a long (and I mean long) gaze and the answer "What the fuck, Dude?" Then, the surfer ass donkey would probably turn its back and catch the next wave, as talkin' is time wastin'.


    • Suborder Retard
      • Family Stupidae
        • Genus Suckerus
      • Family Surfisthus
        • Genus Dumberus

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